I Come Alive - Comments

I didn't even realize this story had started. I thought you were just being mean and was making everyone wait before you started the sequel. But no, you just have to activate subscriptions. Whoever thought of that is quite redundant.

First, I feel like this layout is... well, a bit distracting, in all honesty. The banner is amazing and has the perfect feel to it, but I look at that background and I feel like I'm getting a headache, especially if my laptop is on high brightness.

I do love the chapter titles, though. Like with Human After All, they add a nice edge to the story itself and add a nice decorative feel.

Chapter 1

As for the writing itself, I feel like it's flawless. The way you start this sequel is perfect and I can easily imagine it like a movie sequel. It doesn't jump straight into the main plot and introduces a new character who, although not important, captures your attention and makes you want to read more. Nicely done.

One of the things I don't like in the first chapter is where (around the 5th paragraph) it says the bread is weighing the girl down. I just find this unusual. Perhaps I'm not aware of the real weight of a loaf of bread, but I just don't feel like this is right. I don't feel like a single loaf of bread is all that burdensome.

I also feel like, running as fast as she was and missing one shoe, the girl would have tripped sooner than she did. It's incredibly hard to run as fast as you can when you're lacking a shoe. Plus, the ground is probably hard and it would be painful to run at your top speed when in that condition.

I understand this line, in paragraph 8; "Each one of them thought they were out of shape, but the girl was very agile." though I feel it's a bit confusing. Upon first reading it, I thought you had put the words in a misplaced order. I had to reread the paragraph several times before I finally caught on. Perhaps it's just a silly mistake on my part, but I think if it were rephrased, it might flow better.

I have a very slight problem with the way Beau's pain and medicine work. If he's already beginning to become immune to his medicine, than apparently his doctor's haven't really prescribed the correct dose and/or medicine. I feel like if he were given pain medication for something long term (assuming that this is long term,) they would start him on something that just barely took the edge off the pain, not something that completely takes it away or even comes close to that. The medicine would eventually start to work less but, when it did, they would give him a higher dosage. Point being, I feel like he would be on the same medicine for years and years before he became completely immune. And even then, other pain medications are still going to have similar ingredients. I doubt he would ever be wholly immune to his medication. Anyway, I don't find how the medicine numbs the pain (paragraph 47) very realistic. It's also is a bit confusing to read that the pain still lingers (paragraph 64). If you stuck to one or the other, I think it flow better.

This is just another of my odd quirks, but I feel like in paragraph 11 (after the time lapse) it would be better if you put pet rather than animal.

In this chapter, although you don't see very much of Lejend, I feel like she's out of character. She was so cold and silent throughout the prequel and now she seems too warm and bubbly.

I do feel like you ended this first chapter perfectly, though. It's a great ominous note, especially for readers who have found the birds suspicious since day one. It's enough to were it isn't a cliffhanger, but it still lingers in the back of your mind.

Chapter 2

My only problem with the start of this chapter is how overwhelmingly cliche it is. So many people start stories or chapters out with dreams, and although it's a good way to introduce things going on during the night or show how something has affected a person's mentality/subconscious, it's really very overused. I also feel like this line: "The next would be curved up to their ears, which would say that that particular person had been smiling through sadness for such a long time that their face had gotten stuck that way." is redundant. It just doesn't feel right reading it, like this is some kind of symbolism that should be left to the reader to figure out. It really disrupts the flow of the story.
Other than this, nothing really stands out in this chapter. I love how detailed you are and how, now that Joshua is human, he shows more emotions and is more confident.

I can't wait for more.

I love this series. I read them both yesterday :) I can't wait for more :)

I don't like those night terrors that Beau has or those creepy birds!
Wonder what Rowan needs them for hmmm....
Anyway I feel like I'm going to say this every time I comment but Beau + Joshua = So freaking adorable that one day I'm gonna steal them and keep them forever and ever XD
On another note 'Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock!' gotta love The Big Bang Theory

I love love love love LOVE! :]
And I love the bit where Beau says "Don't fret, pet" :3
I just thought it was so freaking adorable!
I can't wait for more- this story is so unique and undeniably amazing!
xx

First order of business. Amy does not like the birds. They give her a creepy feeling.
Second order of business. Amy is so happy happy that you updated that she could cry tears of joy.
Third order of business, Amy is going to be beating her head again the wall trying to figure out what Rowan wants until you update again. She begs that you update quickly, so she doesn't end up giving herself brain damage *pouty face* Pretty please? ♥
Uh, I think that's all the order of businesses Amy has.
Amy Loves you! ♥

This chapter was soooo cute :) Love the sequel so far :D

I was super excited to see you had updated!
I was missing your lovely Joshua and Beau- they are such an amazing couple, they always make me smile.
I love Ethylon, just saying (he's awesome haha), and adore the way Joshua and Beau defended Lexi. She was so cute.
Please update soon, I love this, and congrats on the mind-boggling amount of subscribers! You totally deserve it!
Never stop writing, and I'll be looking forward to more Joshua and Beau <3
xx

I'm in lovr ith this story. It's one of the few stories that make me wonder why they are on Mibba and not on a shelve in a book store(I'm happy it's here though, so I can read it!). It's so beautiful. I can't wait for the next chapter (:

Ahh, starting off and most likely ending as a great story! Not that I would suprised of course ;)
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Also, wishing Beau best of luck to get better :) and love you Joshua!

Amy is in love with this story already. ♥
Amy can't wait for the next chapter.
Amy has decided that she's going to comment on this story only in third person.
Just because she finds it amusing.
Amy loves you Sonshine! ♥

this is amazing. no other words.

Guess who? XD What's up?
Like the rest of the people who have commented I can't wait for this sequel to start!
Love the layout by the way and I see you've changed the pics of the characters, nice! :)
Anywho I'll be waiting for the first chapter! :D

Sonshineeee!
Amy is excited for this. Yes she is.
Amy wants you to post the first chapter soon. Yes she does.
Amy has no idea why she's talking about herself in third person. She's going to shut up now.
♥♥♥

Fabulous layout! :D
I didn't know the word capital is suppose to be spelled capitol. o.e

*squee!* I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! This is gonna be awesome! Can't wait for you to start this story. I love Human After All so I'm preeetay sure that I'll love this :) Update when you can please!

Hi. I can't wait for this.
It sounds really, really, really interesting - like a good continuation of Human After All.
The title is an amazing work of genius. Just sayin'