Fallacies of Fidelity - Comments

ALL THE HAPPY NOISES!!!

Happogahara in Nasushiobara, Tochigi?
HERE WE COME!!!

Hill starts are my worst enemy. I hate hill starts with an insane amount of passion.... and I live in a city that is built on hills, hills and more hills.

You're welcome though, always glad to lend a hand :)

You could say that it's been bred into me as my dad drove rally cars in his youth. Also, another one of my friends participates in track days at our local race track with her Nissan Fairlady 300ZX.... And this might sound ridiculous, but despite all these awesome influences and my own passion for cars, I'm 25 and I still don't have my license.... I have a car! A manual EK3 Honda Civic that I bought recently... Just I never got my license earlier because I never really had a need to drive until recently because of my living arrangements. R33 and 300ZX have been teaching me how to drive though, so lessons from race car drivers. What more could a girl want right?! LOL!

Touge is fun. I've been a passenger as R33 has taken me down some of our local roads. I'd like to eventually give it a go for myself.

If it helps? Wangan Midnight is a really good manga about street racing. It was even turned into a movie and an anime. Another manga turned anime I recommend is Initial D. It's about touge though... Buuttttt it will help with the whole getting to know cars and how drivers think thing because it looks a bit at psychological factors. And just to throw this out there about it, one of the editors was Keiichi Tsuchiya the Father of Drifting.... So... Y'know.... Who speaking of, his Hot Version show has episodes up on YouTube. I recommend them too ^_^

As for too much detail about car stuff? Pfffftttttttttt you aren't going to see me complaining!!! XD (More like salivating)

You're welcome.
I figured that with the NSX, Skyline and Supra all being popular cars and well established models by their respective manufactures alongside Julia having spent time in Japan their appearances would be possible. Also, just assuming something here, but I'm guessing her battles would have been kōsoku, not touge ones?

My friends are the true car buffs, I'm normally just around for the aesthetics. One of my friends is trying to become a pro drifter and was recently rebuilding an R33 Skyline from the ground up. Ended up being his go to for "what's your thoughts on these" questions. The end result was nothing short of drool worthy: https://scontent-sjc.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/t31.0-8/10697330_950086975007082_453151005932421356_o.jpg You can't see them well in that photo, but his brake callipers are this gorgeous teal colour that stands out amazingly well against the dark gunmetal colour of his paint job.

As for NSXes... Only ever seen one once in person.... Have never seen another one.... I also thankfully got a photo of the occasion: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByDkU_UCIAI-Vqz.jpg:large The photo just doesn't do the harlequin paint job justice though. It looked stunning in person....

Hi there. I'm absolutely loving this story especially since the leading lady is such a vehicle buff. Was just wondering if all we're going to be seeing are Euro and American cars though? I mean, given that it's being touted as a rival to the likes of Mercedes AMG GT and has a healthy max power output of 550bhp, are we going to have a 2015 Honda NSX popping up or even one of the earlier models? Maybe even other Japanese beauties such as the Nissan GT-R and Toyota Supra? Sorry, I'm just a bit of a JDM freak that's all XD

I feel like I should of seen it coming but didn't, not the way I expected things to go, loved it! Can't wait for the next chapter. :D

So um... this story is awesome! Update please?

So, I like how bitchy julia is- she may be seen as independent but shes kinda mean to her parents which just turns her into bitchy- which I like. It'll make it harder for Alec to actually get her to really really like the kid. Your transitioning is smooth. My only complaint is how cold Jules seems to be towards her mother. Yes, her parents care a lot about money- but you could see that wasn't all her mother wanted- she wanted her own future as a designer and I wish Jules would just show her a little le-way. I'm sort of foreshadowing in thinking this but I feel like Nick and Mila are going to "Fall in the love" with each other- will that or wont it complicate things with Alec and Jules? Kinda love and hate the future tension that's gonna happen!
Got through reading this in one day! Sad to see it hasn't been updated in a while tho-hopefully you get back into the writing of things :) Cant wait for more girly!

Comment Swap.

:D Hello, hi.

I like how well rounded your character, Julia is.
It's not often I find a good online fiction with a character that doesn't have another generic background, (if a background at all).

I really liked it. My only real complaint, I suppose is with the character Alec.

I could be wrong but he seemed to be a roughly added addition to this chapter. He's not a bad character, he just seems a tad out of place in this chapter?

The whole 'I don't like him but he's attractive' thing is a BIT overdone. But every cliche can be refreshed and redone to feel brand new and likable. So I can't fault you for that.

I'd suggest, though, not describing the love interest of a story (if that's what he is) as 'creepy.'

Though, I have a feeling that he's secretly the bad guy and maybe the one she's meant to be with hasn't appeared yet.

That would be a legitimate twist.

Overall, just from reading this first chapter I felt the entire story is predictable. I could be wrong about the direction you're going, but it feels like she's going to be 'distracted' by him--- and it's going to end up going in one of two directions---

either A.) She's going to fight her feelings really hard, so she's not distracted while helping to unspoil her little sister. (But as a result be distracted by trying to not be distracted.)

or B.) She's going to cave in to her feelings right away and focus mainly on her relationship.

I really hope that in this story, though, she's not yet another heroine whose life revolves around a love interest just as soon as she enters a relationship.

=3 This seems like a good story, but I would like to see the side characters fleshed out more. And more description and exposition because I have no idea what anything, except her sister's room, looks like.

Comment Swap brought me to your story.

I will start of, saying that I love the banner for your story and the summry was well written. Before I started I even started to read your story, I knew what to expect and it made me excited to read it.

Once I got to your first chapter I could tell you had a great layout of the story and I loved the detail of everything. I could only get through a few chapters tonight but I can't wait to read more of it. It kept my attention through every word. Very well written.

Oh my gosh. I love Julia. I think its so cool that she knows so much about cars. And when her and Alec were arguing about Dana. XD Lawd, that was cayooot, I feel like Alec is just so smitten with Julia, it's adorbs and I'm just sad that he's supposed to cheat her... SADNESS MAN, SADDNESSSSSSSS.

I can definitly relate to the overbaring parents. She feels like shes being held in a higher standard. But hopefully the real not so perfect her will come out. I'll keep reading!:)

It seems like Julia's parents try so hard to make her seem perfect. I hate how the parents think Africa is such a filthy place just because it's poor. I don't know I just hate their attitude. I'm starting to like Julia though. Keep updating!

Comment Swap!

This definitely not the kind of story I would ever read but I can admit that it is written very well and is quite captivating! I love the idea and the story itself! The chapters do get really long though and I have to navigate away from the page a few times because they were so long.... But regardless the story was amazing and I cannot find any flaws whatsoever! Keep writing!

I'm interested in seeing where this goes! I like the main character, but I couldn't decide if her name was Julia and her nickname was Julie, or what. I would clarify that, if you don't mind, in your next chapter!

There are a few grammatical errors in here, and a couple phrases worded incorrectly. You might want to comb through it to get the best out of the chapter as you can!

I like how you established Julia's character; something about a brat turned humble by the hardships she's witnessed appeals to me, and it already adds depth to your character. I also enjoy how you've described her mother as having multiple layers - full of life, but subdued around her husband.

Something you might want to watch out for is "directly" addressing the readers. This is why first person is so tricky for me: if the character usually doesn't get really personal, or addressing the readers directly, it becomes awkward when it suddenly happens. As an example, Julia begins to describe Alec, and then it feels as if she's speaking to me. Establish which way you like the best, and it'll be all groovy. :D

I really enjoyed this, even if it was just one chapter, and I feel like I can already get a feel for the characters! I'm subscribing, and I can't wait to see what happens next!

Comment Swap
Great start to a story. Not really my type of story but it was still enjoyable to read as there were no spelling or grammar mistakes. I also liked the cjaracter and the descriptions are really good. Hope you continue with this story it really could go far

Comment swap ~

Your summary is pretty good, I feel as if it was a bit too long. My only complaint is the font shade. It's too dark against your background and I had to squint to read it.

Your first chapter was very well written. I like how you make Julia's parents seem so extravagant and the fact that they hate she went to Africa. Julia seems like a really independent girl, and I like that. Not a lot of main characters who are females are independent.

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say Julia and Alec get together? Haha.

All in all, very well written story.
Can't wait to see where you go with it!

Comment swap!
Your summary is quite interesting. I do think it was a bit long, and should have been shortened down, but it does it's job and it gets me interesting so that's good.

The first part of the chapter from Julia's perspective, I feel was a bit... I can't quite find the correct word, but I feel like Julia's parents were made to be a bit too one dimensional. I don't really believe in them because I've only gotten to see what seems to be a very exaggerated side of them. Even characters we aren't supposed to like, should have several dimensions.

One things that confuses me, is the whole Mila is underage when she's 18. Isn't 18 the drinking age? Perhaps it's different in the US.

One thing that sort of bothers me, is how Julia seems to be constantly changing. Not developing, but just changing and changing back. I can't really place her. Maybe that's on purpose though?

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole "I can't stand him but he's so attractive" thing. I'm assuming that Julia and Alec will end up together? I suppose you could do something really interesting with it, but I think you should be careful not to fall into a big cliche.

Overall this could turn into something really interesting. The best of luck!