Written in Blood - Comments

Please update soon!
:)

I really like this! update soon please?

Its really short...are all of your chapters ganna be this short?

love it! :)
can't wait for more, update soon please!

I like the update!
Keep it going.

Hey! The first thing I noticed was that you used a dangling whatever it's called. Haha. What I mean is that, your first sentence makes it sound like the dress is holding his hand. You should've written "My mother, dressed in her black and white business dress, held my hand." Watch out for that because it throws the whole story off.

"Literally no one hanged out after school."
Another thing I noticed was that you wrote "hanged" instead of "hung". "Hanged" is only used when someone "hanged" themself. You should change that. (:

Alsoooo, you kind of switch tenses a couple times. The most noticeable one is " I turned a corner into an alleyway that led to the park. I don’t care if it takes an extra ten minutes. . ." It's not a big deal and you don't have to change it if you don't want, but I just noticed it. (I'm in a really critical mood).

But I like your plot. I haven't read anything like it on here. Of course I've read vampire/human pairings but I'm never read it where it's a punishment before. It's really unique. (:

You last chapter leaves me wanting more! I hope you update soon. Despite the errors, I'm going to subscribe because you're a good writer overall and I really like it.

I really like it so far :)
can't wait to see where you take it, please update soon!

I like it so far.
More updates please.

Keep!!!! Update soon!!

keep going this is awesome

I wanna know what happens next :) update soon?