Feet Don't Fail Me Now. - Comments

Pleaassseee updateee :(((

I really really love the style in which you write. It so unique and has an incredible rawness to it. You have portrayed so many theme's in this already, hurt, family violence, rape, and then there's love, hope, and survival and yet I have not experienced many of these things for myself, but with your writing I can almost feel it. I love the characters, but I felt as if the relationship between Pete and Jakob started so quickly. But that's just my opinion though. I hope you've enjoyed my feedback. There wasn't very much for your to improve on as, your writing is so unique and good already. Comment swap brought me here, and I'm glad I had the chance to read the style of your narrative. Keep up the good work :)

I really really love the style in which you write. It so unique and has an incredible rawness to it. You have portrayed so many theme's in this already, hurt, family violence, rape, and then there's love, hope, and survival and yet I have not experienced many of these things for myself, but with your writing I can almost feel it. I love the characters, but I felt as if the relationship between Pete and Jakob started so quickly. But that's just my opinion though. I hope you've enjoyed my feedback. There wasn't very much for your to improve on as, your writing is so unique and good already. Comment swap brought me here, and I'm glad I had the chance to read the style of your narrative. Keep up the good work :)

I love this chapter. I don't know, it's so...light, compared to the ones before. And then there's the way Pete described Patrick's smile saying, "I'm huggable!" because that is the best thing ever and it's so true. And the whole-...to Mr. Stump-who told me to call him 'Patrick because I'm not that old'...-made me laugh. The whole thing is very light, as I've said before. And I like it a lot.

Go, Momma-top! XD

0.0

But...But Daddy Wentz...Why? D: WHY?! That's not cool, and then Pete starts to panic and then there's Jakob, yes, yes, to be there with Pete. Aww. And Sam ruined it with his profane language. Hasn't your mother washed your mouth out with soap, fucker?

Whoops. Heh. :3

OHMYWHAT?! How did all of that stuff get broken? I shall revive it all. Make take a moment. *revive*

Comment swap brought me here! I personally think that this story is amazing. I've never really read a plot like this. This story has so much potential and you're such an amazing writer. Please, keep up the amazing work! I really enjoyed this!! :)

...I spelled cliche so wrong. -_-

Oh, I got a project, too. XD Hey, momma, you mind getting down on that?

Hey, jakob, you're not following any chilche, are you, boy? And then he got hit in the nose by the door, and that shouldn't be funny because Jakob's nice and likes Pete and all that, but oh my God, you have no idea how hard I laughed. And I really liked Pete's description of the opposite side of the state, for some reason. It just seemed dirty and real. Yeah, I'm weird. XD Oh, so patrick's breath-taking to you, huh, Pete? Yes, yes, the plan is perfecting itself.

Okay, so. Love Jakob, love Pete (of course), and in these two seconds, love Patrick, because he's actually just going to let some random kid stay in his house. That's absolutely wonderful. His heart is golden. :3

Unfortunately the comment I posted didn't post! Well, it's a birlliant and unique story line, quite beautiful actually. Not something you see everyday. It does start quite fast paced in the beggining(I'm sure I didn't spell that right!) but I got used to the fast paced and you did slow down towards the last chapter. I think you should establish your characters more thoroughly, add a little back story or past in there, some unknown information! It would help develop your characters and make them feel more real to the reader(s), and now that you have a real relationship set up between Pete and Jakob, use more description and slow the pace, it will add to the romanticism of the story, and makes it more interesting! Well all in all it was an amazing story I loved it, and most definitly subscribed!

I think this is a great story, its so ... unique. Its written differently than you would normally see, does that make sense? I hope so. I really like this story, so keep up the good work! :-)
also: I would maybe work on not rushing a few things? maybe its just me, but some of the things I read felt a bit rushed. that's all that would need slight 'fixing', I would say lol.
((sorry I had to repost, for some reason my comment got cut short and I have no idea why??? maybe I just have a crappy computer lol))

I think this is a great story, its so ... unique. Its written differently than you would normally see, does that make sense? I hope so. I really like this story, so keep up the good work! :-)

I absolutely love how you started off Chapter One describing the whereabouts of Pete and how his normal morning routine is like. That's absolutely brilliant - not something I've ever seen in a story before. Your writing conveys so much feeling that you not only read it, but feel for the character. Lovely work. Good luck with the rest of the story. :) x

There were a few spelling errors and some words that should have been capitalized. I think that maybe Jakob rushed just a bit with Pete though. Shouldn’t he have waited until later on? Maybe after Pete went to his house? I do like this story and I cannot wait until you post another chapter. :D

Thanks for all your hard work! I don't really know about pairings yet. Jakob seems nice but we really don't know much about him, and haven't even met Patrick yet.

I like it like this. It's still slightly spaced out but not too hard to read. Awesome chapter! Can't wait to meet Patrick.

Dun-dun-dun.

Oh, this is gold.

I like the way the story is written, but I like the poetry form, too. So, honestly, I'm no help, because I'm indifferent. Both ways are pretty good and prove interesting to me. So, yes, yes. Either way is good for me, but you may wanna think about your other readers, too. *But I'm God! Why won't she listen to me?!* Uh, scratch that. XD Did that strikethrough work? Hope so, or I'm gonna look stupid with these brackets.

Anyway, I love how the cliche was actually not follwoed and Jakob was not a douche, but actually a nice guy who just needed a tutor. Yay. And then, even better, he's wearing hot pink boxers. A beautiful moment. I laughed increidbly so. And then Pete's parents are utter assholes. But I loves this. I love it very much and it should give birth to more chapters. XD

Love this can't wait to read more of it :3

I like the story, but the way it is, like the others said, "Poetry" form is a little...difficult for me to stay focused and extremely spaced

It is very spaced out.
Hmmmm. I don't know if I like it that way or not. I think it was good for Pete's start for sure because it dramatizes the abuse, but it may be a bit odd for patrick. On the other hand, I think it may do well for Pat too. Ahhhh I'm no help...

Interesting way it's written out, kind of like a poem. Is the whole story going to be this way?