Midgard - Comments

Well , comment swap broung me back here again. The story is well thought out and well written . The Characters are well thought out and Unique. I could understand what was happening from begining to end .I like the idea of kinda x-men but kinda Norse Mythology. All and all a good story . Keep writing

Very well written. ... the story is well thought out ... characters are unique ..I could clearly understand what was happening. .. all in all a well written good story ... keep writing

Firs off I’d like to thank comment swap for bringing me to this story because it is INCREDIBLE. The way you write, the way you describe things all are wonderful and you were born to be a writer. At first, when I saw mutant, I was worried it would be X-Men-esque (not that I’d mind I love X-Men) but you definitely made the idea your own. Rosemary is a lovely character who is so wise beyond her years and I feel myself wanting to learn from her. As you introduced the characters, I felt for them. You described Jamie in five simple sentences and I automatically felt a pain for him. Bitzego makes me angry in a way I honestly hate him. I feel conflicted about Jamie’s sister, because I personally agree with her choice to kill this guy. I feel terrible, though, that this one act of violence caused all the fighting to happen, especially in the House of Fenrir. I also really love how you are so detailed about everyone’s powers. I feel like I really understand them and are witnessing them as they happen, especially Holly’s. You so casually switch pov’s and are so good at doing both male and female pov’s. All in all, I love this story a lot and you’re such an incredible writer.

I genuinely really enjoyed this! I brought here by comment swap and what a gem this is! You describe things with such ease and I wish I could write like you! I find that this idea is very interesting and I absolutely love it. I also really like the main character. I’m really excited to read more!

Comment swap did me good today! This is amazing. They way you describe what is happening made me want to keep reading. The picture at the top drew me in as well. This is amazing. I applaud your writing. You got a subscriber!

Holy crap! Comment swap brought me here, and I'm SO glad that it did! First of all, your description is utterly fantastic! It drew me in immediately and made me so excited to get to the first chapter. I love that your layout is simple and easy to read, which is something that helps keep me interested in the story. Your banner is also beautiful and I'm in awe that you drew it yourself. I'm subscribed and have recommended already and I'm only on the second chapter. I wish I had more time right now to read because I would read this all right now. Please update regularly because I'm looking forward whole-heartedly to reading the rest of this. Fantastic job!

Here from comment swap, and I'm so glad it brought me here. This is a completely amazing story. Your description is amazing, really drawing you in and showing things to the reader. I am a sucker for superpowers though, so I could be a little bit biased. The one thing I noticed was that you can get a little redundant at times like in the prologue the word child(ren) shows up a bunch. Try a pronoun or something. And in the same vein, you could use a little more sentence structure variety. For example, second paragraph the almost entire thing is made out of simple Subject-Verb sentences, and most of them starting with the word 'I.' But other than that this was a fantastic read, I can't wait to see what else you do with it.

Comment Swap~*
I absolutely LOVED this, everything about it i Liked, I will be waiting for more :D

I'm here for the comment swap and I would like to say that I thought it was really good and it was very well written! Your story is very unique and original and your drawing is lovely. I liked your story, but it is something that was really for me, even though I enjoyed it. Well done and keep writing.

Your writing just enthralls me. I've had this up in Comment Swap for a while and haven't had time to read it and I'm so glad I got this story.

Your description really is unique "feeding them happiness through the air", that line's really stuck with me. And I love how it's a mutant story and yet you didn't come right out with what each character's ability was as soon as you introduced them.

Your writing is.. Amazing.

I'm so drawn into this story, I'm glad I got this from comment swap.
My mind is actually whirling with thoughts about this story, but all of them basically mean "I love this, it's amazing."
Sorry for not much detail.

I like the descriptions; very detailed and it also reminds me of the first scene where we are introduced to Jean and Charles of x-men 1 (so yeah that's huge). This is actually probably my first time reading a mutant story, so congrats for letting me see what I've been missing. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

I got this from comment swap, and so I haven't read all of it yet, but I'm going to later today. I love this. I love your writing style and how detailed you write. I love your descriptions and how fluid you make everything sound. I've been trying to write something about the future of America/the world for a long time and I've never been able to do it, but you've done a brilliant job. I'm seriously in love with this and I can't wait until I have time to read more of it!

This is a really interesting story! Very original idea... I like how 'in the mind' of the protagonist the first chapter is ( this is where I am atmm) and it gives a goood insight into the world you've created.. making me excited to read more!!
Looking forward to see where this is going and subscribing now :)
Good luck with your writing!
<3

This is a very unique story. It reminds me of all those dystopian books, which I am obsessed with. I must say you have quite the imagination to come up with something like this! All the names are really interesting too.
I really like your style of writing, you seem to word things differently. At least word them differently than I would! The only thing that I think could be changed is the paragraph lengths. I have attention problems, so when there's huge paragraphs I can only handle reading half of it or skimming it. Then I get confused and have to go back. But that's just me being weird!
Keep up the good work! I look forward to see where you take this!

I love "hoover their carpets." It's such a unique phrase, that I never would have thought of. And I'm really glad that your story begins with a character who is happy with their life. You read so many stories nowadays in which the characters are wishing for a change, but your character is unique and doesn't need that. Your paragraphs are a bit long, which was intimidating, so you could break those up a little, but it's otherwise beautifully written and I like it.

Summary: In the second part you repeat "children" or "child" a little too much, and it disrupts the flow. I love the summary other than that though, because it's very informative and does a good job of drawing me in.

Prologue:

The hood came down, it revealed a small, familiar looking girl. She was small, with bright red hair and a slight frame
- I think it gets a little redundant to repeat "small", since we already know she is from the first sentence. Having a slight frame, to me, says the exact same thing as "she was small", so it just feels like a bit too much.

The story is good, it reminds me of X-Men but it's good. It does draw me in, and make me wonder what's going to happen next. I feel the writing style to be a little choppy, and to me too much is told and not shown, and there aren't enough emotions yet. But overall you did a good job.

fresh of breath air
This story is so original and beautifully written. The whole concept drew me into really wanting to read each and every chapter. I fell in love with the opening paragraph. The effort really shines through. Keep up the great work.

This is a very original and amazing story. Usually, I don't read this kind - but now that I have, I love it. You have an excellent flow throughout it and your words are lovely. At first, I was a little confused; I couldn't figure out the point of view switches, but I think I've got it now. I love how complicated it is, and yet you explain it so well. This story is wonderful, I am definitely subscribing.

There were a few typos in the prologue:

A unflattering side-shot revealed his need to stand on a little stool to reach the microphone. - the 'A' needs to be 'An'.

“Ladies and Gentlemen; the day has arrived. The day for our world, our home, to be restored to it’s once glorious stature.” - The 'it's' should be 'its'.

He crowd seemed afraid, as if his words were controlling what they felt. - The 'He' should be 'The', I think.

Anyway, this is really interesting and brilliant, I hope to read some more soon!

comment swap
ok, so this totally isn't my genre and without being brought here by the comment swap i definitely wouldn't have read this. but just from your summary i knew this was a really original, captivating idea
and from even just the very opening paragraph of the prologue its clear that you are a very skilled writer. you're very talented and your writing and beautifully detailed with effective imagery.
best of luck