Stay Positive. - Comments

Comment Swap brought me here, and i gotta say, this is very well written story. I loved the fact that the main character has a dog, and believe it or not, i was stuck somewhere as to how to start a chapter in my own story, and reading your work gave me a way to start that chapter. The characters are very well rounded up, and i will definitely subscribe to it. Really like it.

I adore your characters just so you know :) All their names fit their personalities and I LOVE it when that happens. The dog is a really nice touch as well and makes the character so much more relate able. The layout really matches the story (if that makes sense) and the titles of the chapters really pull readers in. I e you haven't written in a long time so PLEASE KEEP WRITING It's a great story.

I think this is really good for your first story. I find this very realistic and look forward to more chapters. Keep it up!

I really loved this! It was absolutely beautifully written. The characters just feel so real (: I'll definitely continue to read! <3 Keep writing!

Um I'm not sure what this is a fanfiction for but I love it. Your writing flows so smoothly. This is one of my favorite comment swaps so far. I recommended and subscribed. The layout is great. Your characters are amazing. The writing it fabulous. I am very happy I've come across this. 5 gold stars for you!

this is a comment for comment swap. I usually read fan-fictions but this is really good. I read all of it in like one hour because it was so good and i had to keep reading. I love the twists you put in and over all its a great story line.

I loved this! I simply couldn't stop reading! I loved your creativity. The title pulled me in right away. Sure there are some errors, but in the status you did mention it being your first story, and your first story is going WAY better than mine was, by far. I think you're doing awesome for the first time. I say keep up the good work and learn as you go on. Your stories will get better and better that way <3

*I was led here by comment swap and found your story very interesting. There always seems to be a new twist in the story to keep your audience reading, trying to figure out what's going to happen next. You write dialogue extremely well and the descriptions you give are very vivid and make it easy for the reader to see the picture you're trying to paint. *

Below are some of the problems I found in each chapter, as well as some of the things I liked:

Chapter One

- I like how you started this chapter off. It immediately piques the reader's interest and makes them want to know what's going on.
- head rest is actually one word "headrest"
- Maybe you could show more of a relationship between Damon and Kyle since they're "good friends." Maybe a little dialogue to show how they get along. Also, it doesn't make sense to me that Kyle would just leave Damon at the gas station with no form of transportation without at least offering to take him home if they're friends, but a complete stranger makes the offer.
- Put the last line in italics to indicate that this is what Damon's thinking. Right now, it just kind of looks like you've suddenly changed to first person.

Chapter Two
- ...'the puppy laying down in his lap...' this part of the sentence onward is just confusing. I think you need to reword it.
- ...stunned at his answer...answer should be question
- college doesn't need to be capitalized

Chapter Three
- I like the relationship between Damon and his puppy. It's very sweet.
-Why would no one be willing to take him to get his car? Does he have no friends? What happened to Kyle?
- Where did Jordan get this temper from? Lol. I was not expecting it. It's very impressive.

Chapter Four
- 'And to think'...put thought proccesses in italics. It looks like you randomly changed to first person.
- Good description of Jordan's place. It makes it very easy to visualize.
- That is some surprising behavior from Jordan. Makes her character more interesting.

Chapter Five
- I like that you gave a little bit of a background on Damon. It kind of expains why he's so reserved. Trauma like that will do that to a person.

*Anyway, this story is amazing. I really enjoyed it; thanks so much for a great read. I cannot wait to see what you do with it in future chapters.

I finally finished the 4 chapters now that I'm home from work. I'm confused about Jordan's character She's confident and blunt and that's really cute, but in the last chapter she really surprised me. I didn't think she'd be that way. Twists like that are always a plus. Including the ending, what the heck is going to happen??
The only thing I would like to see in future chapter is more of Damon's back story, like family and friends. So far it's just him and the dog and I what the rest of his life is like. I also really like the picture for the layout, it is very suiting!

You're a great writer! I really like the detail you put into this, and you make me want that puppy(:
I haven't read an original story in a long time but I'm definitely subscribing

Okay, well Comment Swap brought me here and I've very glad it did! I may have no idea who this story is for, but your writing style kept my interest. I am definitely going to subscribe to this story, I really like it! Great job on this :]

I'll start off by saying that I like the layout, it has a really simple feel to it that isn't very distracting. I'm surprised that this is your first story because it doesn't read that way. Your sentences aren't choppy and you have a considerable about of detail and emotion in your words. The flow is nice and I couldn't even spot a grammatical error. The only thing I have to say is that the first part of chapter one seemed a bit rushed. It went from the car breaking down, to Kyle showing up, to Damon in a convenience store. I would have liked to have been properly introduced to Damons close friend who fixes cars, maybe a little dialogue. It isn't absolutely necessary but it'll make things feel slower and we'll get a better understanding of your character and what kind of friends he keeps.

Other than you are very skilled at dialogue (when he was talking with Jordan in the car everything read really smoothly, as if it were me giving the directions) I don't know what else to tell you. It's obvious you cherish this story and it's going in a good direction. Keep up the good work!

Comment swap brought me here and i sadly dont have much time to read the entire story right now :( i will try and finish reading later! Over all the first chapter was really nice and i found it pretty frigin adorable xD love it! i will finish reading anohher time :)

I apologize. I was brought here by the Comment Swap Gadget, and I just can't get into the story right now, but never fear! I will still subscribe and try another day. :D Maybe I can get more into it another day.

Otherwise the story is great, very few grammar mistakes. I do love the relationship between Damon and his puppy. They are so cute! :D

I like this story so far. I can see that some people may not like the fact that you've filled us with a lot of background information before jumping into the story - but personally, I really like that. I like to get to know the characters before the story takes off and that's what I feel you do with this :]

Keep up the good work, I like it!

This story is well written and has an intriguing storyline that I would like to see more of. I love the relationship between Damon and his dog; I always feel that the way a man is with a dog is the same as he would be with kids in the future and the way he approaches a relationship. My only slight critique is that I want to see more development of Jordan; she just kind of appears and then it willing to drive him places. It seemed a little fast and I would like to see more of that. Otherwise, great job.

You had me hooked on the first chapter, it's really good, I love how different it is, I love it, you've set the scene really well in the first chapter, I can't wait to find out more about the characters, you're a really good writer! Well done! xo

You had me hooked on the first chapter, it's really good, I love how different it is, I love it, you've set the scene really well in the first chapter, I can't wait to find out more about the characters, you're a really good writer! Well done! xo

First off, I feel like you’ve done a great job of setting the scene and describing the situation that’s going on, but I’ve got to admit that I would’ve liked to have read a little more content and character description in this opening chapter because I feel like I don’t really have a clear idea of who Damon is, aside from that he apparently has bad luck and a crappy car

This is actually a good story! Not much have happened yet though, but I like that you've taken your time with it and put detail into it instead of just jumping forward with the story. We kinda get to know Damon, and that's awesome : D Haha.

Anyway, you're a really good writer, and I can't wait to read more of this :) Keep it up ~