Safeguard - Comments

Great story, I'm excited to see where it goes. I would consider revising as there are some grammatically incorrect sentences that made it a bit difficult to understand, I honestly had to read the lines a few times before getting a better understanding.

I will subscribe and see where it goes.

all i have to say is wow! this is great!! the characters seem very realistic instead of all round perfect and the dialog actually sounds like a conversation my friends and i would have making the story more realistic and interesting ! i love it great work!!

Wow that was really powerful and as soon as I finished these chapters I looked at the layout- it's perfect! And here I was thinking my layouts were good! :) Make me one?
Really good intro and everything about this intrigues me. Also nice name Poppy. I like it, short sweet, and mysterious I mean what does a Poppy even look like? Keep up the good work!

"Whether for the incredibly beautiful story layout, the developed relationships and characters, or the way you write matters very little. "

In my last comment, the "matters very little" was from a different sentence I took out and should be replaced with "either way, this story's absolutely amazing". I'd go back and edit the comment but the text won't show.

No, you should not definitely not give up on this story. It's not something I usually read, but for some reason, I'm really digging this story. Whether for the incredibly beautiful story layout, the developed relationships and characters, or the way you write matters very little. What matters is that this story is amazing - it's intriguing and, for Aria, sort of sad because of her confusion with her emotions. But, I think that's what makes her so relatable - because there isn't a person I know that hasn't been in an emotional situation like this.

I'm going to subscribe and recommend this :)

Don't give up on this story! The characters are instantly likeable and interesting, and leap off the page as they seem very real to the reader. It is also very easy and enjoyable to read, and I really want to know what happens between Aria and Poppy - so far, I love their relationship - they complement each other very well and you can sense the depth of their relationship well.

I really like this story. It’s original and the characters are three dimensional, real, and likable. I like that Aria is childish because she compliments Poppy very well. The layout is gorgeous, did you make it? I really like it! Anyway, I will definitely subscribe! Please continue.

Wow that's really good.
Are you updating soon?

To start off, I love the layout. It's so beautiful! I love your writing style, it really captured my attention. I don't think there was much I didn't like, to be honest. I love both Aria and Poppy - though Aria does seem very childish. They both seem very real to me, as well as how they interacted with each other.

Overall, great job. I really don't know what needs to be improved, at the moment. I love it all! :)

I really like this! Tio me, the layout was reallt small and just extremely difficult to read. Other than that, it was a pretty good story, I am glad the comment swap brought me here. You did a good job on the whole introducing people thing.

For the most part, you do a good job introducing the characters. Who they are, what they are. I got a good sense of them from the opening scenes, and I liked the emotions of your characters because they were effective in getting your point across.

That being said, I do feel you have a tendency to string over-wordy sentences together, creating a someone confusing and clunky narrative. I'd go for shorter, quick sentences, as I feel they'll get the point across just as well without as much confusion.

First of all, I love love LOVE the layout.(: It's beautiful.

I'm in love witht he characters just by the first chapter. You really know how to grab a readers attention. You use a lot of interesting words, and I just love it. I don't have time to read it all right now, but I promise I'll come back.!(:

I don't see anything really wrong with it, keep up the good work!

he smoke drifting underneath it slipped through her toes like lost ghosts reaching for the ceiling.- Beautiful simply beautifully stated! The description added to the room (which by the haphazardly thrown cloths sounds awfully like my own) was simply magic, Aria's confusion for the smoke was realistic and a sense of dread swept over me as the reader because I knew her parents had not simply burnt dinner! FANFREAKINGTASTIC! The grammar is splendid-hey when you got it you got it darling and boy do you got it!

Your grammar and spelling is impeccable and the detail and soul you put into this story is admirable. The characterization is top-notch as well as the relationship between Aria and Poppy – I can sense that love and bond between them, and already their differences have shown up. This is so easy to read while at the same time maintaining depth, and it’s already got me wondering about what will happen to these girls. I’m hooked :D

I like this even more now :) Your details are so perfect and clear. I'm jealous :P Please keep writing, and consider me interested!

You have a very interesting story here, and I like it. As JennyLynn2012 said, you do have a few sentences that tend to run-on, and that tends to cause confusion. But you are a very good writer and have very real characters. Your layout is beyond gorgeous. It would take me months to figure out something so crafty, especially with this new layout generator. (: Great job!

I love your backround, it's absolutely beautiful, yet easy on the eyes. But to make it easier to read, the size of your text needs to be a bit bigger. It was kinda hard to read. Also make the text area a bit wider, there's a lot of empty space in the layout.
I loved how much detail you put into this scene. It was very well written, with barely any grammar or punctuation mistakes. And if there were, I can't remember where.
The only criticism I have is that there are a few sentences that tend to run on, like the very first sentence in the first chapter. I think that could have been broken up into two sentences because it kinda confused me and I had to go back and reread it a couple times. But that's all I really have to say. You did an amazing job and you're a very talented writer! :)

I really like your layout, it's really pretty, and everything about it is very intriguing. I like your characters, they're very real to me, I feel like I can relate to them and I love how Aria smiled at the end after taking the inhaler. Even though it was her house, her parents money, and everything was just really crazy, I found myself chuckling at the fact that she smiled like that. Really awesome, I'm gonna come back for more. Update!

This is really good, and off to a promising start of a great story ^^
I already can catch a glimpse of at least one character and what she is like. And the descriptions really are great. I can already see the surroundings.
It's my preference, but I hope the chapters overall will be slightly longer and even thought this theme looks really great, it's a bit hard to read with the small font.

Wow, this really was amazing. Your descriptions were perfect and your characters are just amazing, especially Ari. I loved how her house is on fire and what she's really pissed about is being woken up! I saw one or two mistakes, but nothing a quick read-through can't fix. But tehre is a part where three or so paragraphs aren't spaced out. I also agree that the story section could b e wider, but it's fine the way it is.

This is truly great, I can't see where you're going with this!