Dragon's Siege - Comments

This is a very interesting story, I'm not real into Dragon Age or video games in general unless it's like Mario or something. But anyways, this is very good and written very well. But I do have to suggest, like SmilesOctober stated, using commas, semicolons, or sometimes colons instead of '...' because it was a tad bit odd since I've never seen people use that before. It was very well done besides that.

-Greg.

This story is very interesting. I haven't played Dragon Age but it is interesting. Your wording and descriptions are good. One thing that kind of bothers me the usage of periods. How you use .... in your sentences is weird for me. I suggest commas? Or possibly revising some sentences. There really isn't much to fix. You've done really well. :)

"Blood running down their faces as they're Lips curled" I believe you mean to have 'their lips curled'.

Other than those few things, it was a decent read! Please, keep writing!!! :)