So, Long Live Us - Comments

Comment swap time!

I think your story's got something going for it. It's a kind of take on something that not a lot of people do. i.e. The main focus of the story (Maddison) doesn't have the perfect scenario. A lot of people develope their characters and stories around that perfect scenario because we're living a sort of fantasy. Kuddos on some originality. And this story intrigued me even though I don't read a whole lot of All Time Low fanfics. Even bigger kuddos.

However, I do agree with some of my fellow commenters. Maddison needs a bit more fleshing out characterwise. There is improvement as the chapters progress, but I'd certainly like to hear even more of her thoughts about things. I imagine her as being more introspective and thoughtful. Maybe a bit more hesistant about things. Also, a touch more spell check and grammar check and you could certainly have something really going here. Finally, on this site I personally prefer there being a break between lines of dialogue. For example--

"I love ponies," said Harry.

"Evs. Unicorns are where it's at," Sally huffed.

Putting breaks in there makes it a lot easier to read and comprehend. But that's just my opinion. Sorry for the long comment. haha Happy writing!

Yaaay you took my idea. But now I feel bad cus Jordan's gunna get his heart Broken

I liked the information you gave about the characters and the story line. So far I'm loving the story and I subscribed. I can't wait for the next update!

I love this story. I mean, the story line. And I'm a fan of All Time Low, so this makes things better! I would have had to punch Lisa in the face by now, idk, but this story is perf! Keep it up! <3

I subscribed, btw. ^.^

Jordan should fall in love with her, mostly because I'm in love with him... Cameron works to, Keep up the good work and update soon.

Oh, hey comment swap time. I think your emotional intent of the story is working out okay, if that makes sense. I mean, you have me rooting for Maddison. I want her to be with Alex, but the thing is I don't know if I want to read everything that leads up to that. Mostly, you just need to add a little more substance to your writing. Descriptions, deeper looks at Maddison's thoughts and feelings. I get that what you're doing is a sort of casual way of storytelling, but I'd love to see more Maddison, and more development of the boys as well. Also, you just need to tweak a few grammatical errors, but that's normal. Mostly, make sure you use correct punctuation when writing dialogue. ~"I hate Lisa" said Maddison.~ isn't correct. ~"I hate Lisa," said Maddion.~ is correct. That's really your only persistent thing. So remember: substance and grammar. You'll be set!

I love this so much! Update soon!

Okay so I was really excited to see that I had gotten an Alex Gaskarth story ( from the comment swap) since I'm writing one of my own right now! Anyway, I liked the idea behind it, but truthfully I think that your writing could be improved. I found it really simple and there was very little description in the few chapters that I did read. If you added more detail to your chapters, I feel like it would greatly improve the story.

Sorry I didn't comment on the other chapters!
Anyway, woah, i was surprised when jack didn't even give her a chance to explain :C poor Maddie!
But good update all the same
Love and dinosaurs<3 xxx

Lisa's a bitch. You should make some one from a different band like Maddison so Alex gets jelous. Everyone better see how much of a bitch Lisa is... Even thou in real life she's really nice

Hello, I've come here via comment swap.
First off, I was excited that this was an ATL story, since they're my guilty pleasure. I like your summary, it definitely intrigued me. You've got a great story going here, but I would take the time to proofread a little more. But other than that, I agree with the person below me. The fact that you focus on family instead of taking the typical romance route is pretty refreshing. I would say good job, and keep it up.

-Jess xx

Since this is for comment swap, my comment’s only focused on the first chapter. Though from what I’ve read so far, I really like the premise of this story and the concept behind it, I have to say that there are a lot of grammatical errors in this chapter, particularly involving commas. At times, I also felt like the opening chapter read as a bit of an info dump. Though I liked the relationship that you developed between the siblings, I would’ve enjoyed the chapter more if, instead of telling all of this information outfront, you would’ve showed it through character interactions and things of that nature. I like that, so far, this fic is more centered on family than romance, and I enjoyed how you balanced these different aspects of the main character’s life.

Aww , update ! I think Lisa's gonna treat Maddison badly and then be her bestfriend "on camera" , and once Jack is going to see Lisa hitting her or something , and hes gonna tell Alex but hes not gonna believe him cause he's in love . eep , I kinda wanna see that happen <3

Somehow, I don't think Alex's english work was truely ment for Lisa, but he just doesn't know it yet ;)
Again another amazing update!
Love and dinosaurs<3

Awwh, I feel sorry for her :'(
But still a great update! :)
Love and dinosaurs<3

love it! update soon please!