Return to the Games - Comments

Yessss!!! The moment I read the title I was thinking to myself please be a Hunger Games story and I was so so happy when I found out it was! I love the idea of the story and how it takes place in the story. I especially love hearing about/from Katniss and Peeta's children. This story has a lot of promise and it seems super insteresting and I will definitely continue reading!!!! Keep up the great work!

I actually really like the idea of all of the victors' kids going back into the arena but I honestly am a bit confused as to why you started out with so many different POV's. It was really sorta distracting since you mentioned that everything would be for the most part in Rosalind's POV from here on out. With so many different POVs, I'm afraid that you might just randomly swap later on which isn't very good for continuity or worse! there won't be a character development because of the focus. Or perhaps maybe it was to get readers to decide who would want to win the games (I don't know if thought about this or if interactive reading is your thing...) All in all, I like it so far and I think it's well-written and an interesting take. Outside of that what I mentioned earlier, I don't really have too many comments. I do help that feedback helped and you don't take it as condescending or too harsh.

Well, I've only watched the Hunger Games once and that was quite a while ago as well. So this comment may not be as detailed as the others even though I read the whole first chapter.

First off, you don't tell, you show. That is a quality in writers that readers look for.

Secondly, I love how it’s in the future and Katniss has grown up, also how Katniss is married to Peeta and has already had children with him. Most Fan Fiction I have read is during the games just like the movie.

You're very good with dialogue; you don't just say "said." You are better with finding verbs to use for speaking and I really like that because I understand it better and it’s easier to read, not just that, but it’s hard for me to read sometimes because I cannot pay attention very well. Your writing makes it easier for the reader to read.

Overall, there were no problems and I will be continuing to read this.

Whoops... double post!

Heyz! I'm back again!
Like I said before, I really enjoyed the story! And I am oh so glad you told me that you updated it :)
I'm really just... mentally beating myself for sounding like a broken record, but I do rudely want to see more. Way more. As you probably know, Suzanne Collins didn't really mentioned about Johanna having kids... [***SPOILER ALERT!!!!***] (I honestly can't remember if she does it not...) And, I'm pretty sure Finnick did die... (it broke my heart. The canned series killed off everyone that I even started to like ): ...even the cat...) So, it really is interesting that you did feature their kids. But as much as I hate to say, after reading more Hunger Games fanfics, the plot is a bit of overused... But no worries there! I have no doubt that it's going to be a good story and that you're probably plotting twists as we speak... So, good job so far! I look forward to reading more!

I absolutely love The Hunger Games so I am so happy that I found this! I really like that you used Peeta and Katniss's children in this story and gave them names and unique personalities. The one thing I didn't like is the switching between character point of view's all the time. It makes it harder to get closer to the characters because you're always switching between them. I think it would work if it was just from the point of view of one character instead of all the flipping. Rosalind, probably. Other than that, I think this is a great story!

*Comment swap

I'm an avid fanfiction reader. I read fanfiction for some of the most obscure things, and some of the msot popular things. So i know good and bad fanfiction when I see it.
Now, don't takt that to mean that your fanfiction story is bad, because it's not. It's well written, adn you've pulled off First Person point of view well, and not many people cane do that, especially with fanfiction. It's just that the way I see your story from what I've read of it, the plot line is very stereotypical for Hunger Games FanFiction. I'm sorry to say that I don't see it being one of the better ones out there, I'm sure with your talent though you can come up with a better idea to write about and it'd be amazing.

*comment swap :)*
I don't typically read a lot of fan fiction so I haven't seen a Hunger Games one yet! I commend you because the Hunger Games is hard to follow. You did an amazing job in creating twists and page turners! I felt like I truly was reading the real thing. I loooove the Hunger Games so I will be subscribing and recommending!

I've never gotten a Huger Games Fanfiction before, but I'm so glad I did! Loved the books and the film, so I was very happy when I found that you'd done a great job of portraying the characters. I've only read chapter one so far, but I'll subscribe and read the rest later. Your punctuation, spelling, characterisation is all really good, and you have a writing style that makes me what to keep reading. Love the background too btw! :D Keep it up!

CS: woo! Glad to have gotten a hunger games fanfic, I really loved the series! In the summary though, at the end, you wrote capital instead of Capitol though, just pointing that out~ Anyways, I love how you made Peeta and Katniss the type of couple that supports and loves one another. Gah, how adorable c: And what a great way to start off your story: "We need to start another rebellion." Ooh, the suspense c: I especially liked how, when Peeta brought up that all children of victors are immune, but Katniss says that she doesn't believe them. You stayed true to the characters, so props to you on that! Overall, this seems like a very promising story! :D

I haven't read a Hunter Games fanfictions but I'm pleasantly surprised, I really like it, thank you. I've recommended your story and I'm going to be subscribing, I hope you update soon so I can read more :)

I'm here from comment swap, and like the people below, I was not happy to read a fan fiction about The Hunger Games. However, your idea for this story, is very interesting and different. You can write well which is the main point really, but I would of preferred if it had nothing to do with The Hungers Games. Sorry, your writing could go to better use, in my opinion. x

Comment swap sent me here
I'm a huge fan of the hunger games but to be honest I wasn't looking forward to a fanfiction based on it. However I have been proven wrong and I've become acustomed to this story. There's really only thing I didn't like and this is a general issue that bothers me personally. I found your writing is a little formal, I dunno other people may or may not see it that way but I felt like I was reading an essay. If the manner of the way you wrote this is intential I'm sorry but I had to be honest. Spelling and everything is excellent, the layout is awesome and I really liked it however I find it hard to see myself reading on past chapter1. Its just not my taste. But I hope everything goes well with it!

comment swapper! :D
so, when I saw that it was a story about the Hunger Games I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't very excited to read it. I'm not really into it so I'm only going to read 1 chapter. sorry.
I really liked how the setting was in the future and how her kids didn't know what the Games were and everything. It was a really interesting concept and totally different than the other stories I've read based on the series are so props to you :)
I also really like your writing style and how none of the paragraphs were too long. I hate reading a lot of text at the same time, it gives me a headache and it also makes me skim the paragraph instead of reading every word.
Good job and good luck :) May the odds be ever in your favor ;)
keep up the good work c:

0_0 Comment Swap sent me here.
This is a fabulous story. I didn't read the whole thing but I did read the first chapter. I love it and if I was more of a Hunger Games fan, I would read the whole thing. I don't really have any negative to say about this story. Katness was well spoken as I believe she should be at the podium.

comment swap!

I was never really into the whole hunger games thing, but i do have to say, your story was definitely interesting. i'm glad you gave a bit of a description as to what the books have been about so readers aren't confused as to what it is they're actually reading!

it's awesome!

Comment swap!

First off this is my first Hunger Games story I’ve ever read, and I got to say I really like it. At first I wasn’t sure how I was going to get in to it cause, well, I’ve never wanted to.

(I’ve only read the first book :x)

But anyways very well done and I don’t think I saw any spelling or grammar errors, so keep up the good work and I’m defiantly looking forward to the next part :D

Hello, I'm from comment swap.
First off, I'm a huge Hunger Games fan, so I may be a little biased in saying this, but I love this story. It's completely different from anything I've read so far, which is hard to say for all the other fics out there. You are completely original when it comes to writing, and I hope you stick to that. The only thing I would like to change is the spacing. Some of the paragraphs tend to be longer than others, and it kind of makes it hard to read. Other than that, you have done a really wonderful job with this! Keep it up and good luck with the rest.

-Jess xx

Here from comment swap. Okay, so confession: I have never read the hunger games. or seen the film.

I've been meaning to for absolutely ages but never got round to it, due to those other less important things that take up your life in that irritating way.

So, because of this, I started to read this with a completely blank mind. Admittedly, I probably would have enjoyed (or perhaps understood) your first chapter better if I knew what the hunger games are about, but you have described and given some background on the hunger games (which many fanfics don't) allowing those of us who don't know anything about THG, to understand better.

Your writing style is fantastic, and thats the most important thing. After reading the first chapter, I am going to go out and buy the Hunger Games books, and once I have done that, I'm going to come back and carry on reading your fic, in the hope of being able to enjoy it more! There were no spelling/grammatical errors that I could find, and I really enjoyed your writing.

Keep it up :)

Ooh and I love your layout. Not boring, but not over the top. Great job. :)

Comment Swap:

As those below me, I also liked the layout - not too busy, but certainly eye-catching, and the odd yellow of the lettering was kind of endearing too :) The way you write is unique and definitely draw attention. I also love The Hunger Games, having read the series quite a few times myself, and was pleased that I wasn’t cringing from this adaption :) I also like the multiple characters play in the story plot - just be sure not to focus on one or another too much and keep the drama in a safe zone - I’m sure you don’t want to have too many things going on at once that the readers can’t keep up or loose interest!

But, all in all, this is a great story and I really hope you continue with it :) Keep in mind that you write for your pleasure first and foremost, then for us second :) x