Return to the Games - Comments

I love the idea of going further with the Hunger Games! i wish the original author would have done that. And bringing the games back? I'm totally subscribing. I've seen people go into the past and try to use earlier games, but I love that you brought it to the future!

I've honestly never read The Hunger Games because I wasn't into it, and I only saw the first movie because I was forced and didn't like it much. I was a little lost because I know next to nothing about the book series, but was able to enjoy the way you write it. It seems like a very good plot so far, so keep up the good work.

:) Comment Swap sent me here. I haven't read the Hunger Games, but I know a little bit about it. You have a really awesome writing style. I was captivated by the first paragraph. It makes me want to read the Hunger Games.

Keep up the good work!

Comment Swap sent me heree! First of all, i like the idea, i think it's really cool and creative. Second, I don't know much about Hunger Games, so I kind of had no idea at all as to what was going on. Your writing style was good, so I think you should keep writing :] <3

-comment swap-

to be honest, I am one of the few people who have not read the Hunger Games. I never sat the movie either. It never really interested me. Your story on the other hand was definitely something different. You are a naturally great writer and I think you can express more. Your detail is perfect because it's not too deep yet not too questionable. The names of the children were cute. I also felt like you explained the games very well. Without that explanation, I probably would have never known what was going on. I really do hope you write more. Your story seems better than the novels.

Comment Swap!
I loved the Hunger Games but never actually wanted to read a fan fic about it. I was thinking God what could this possibly have to offer. But it was so good. I know it's only the first chapter but it's so well written and you're very talented. I can't wait for the next update seriously! Wow!

-From comment swap-
The thing I would like to say, I love the hunger games, and this is so amazing. I'm jelly of you because you have no mistake at all, at least from my point of view. This story is very deep, and full of detail. I hope to learn from you. Haha.

-from comment swap-
I've read the whole series, so I'm glad nothing is a surprise to me. Anyway, this is really great. I don't read HG fan fictions, but I love this. It's a good idea, you ended it well, you started it well... etc.

I think that you are a a very good writer & I may not have been paying attention, but I found no mistakes. That's good to be able to spot before posting. It just makes things easier than having others point it out and make you feel bad HAHA
So yeah, this is great. I hope you win the contest! :-)

I've never read the hunger games, but after reading this; I might just have to! You're an amazing writer - and you're obviously into the story to have written something with so much emotion and portraying it very well. I really like how determined they are, and I am curious to know what they're going to do to stop the capital. I think you're a great water, and your sentences are mixed up very well from simple to long. Congrats on the talent ;D and good luck on the contest!

Comment swap brought me here. I think this is a really interesting plot, it's something that I actually think Suzanne Collins would write herself, a good idea for any future installments of The Hunger Games. I might add some more description, rather than conversation, to help develop the story and really set it on fire, since it's in such an early stage. I'm pretty captivated, but again, description is what paints the big picture. Conversation can be used later on to further round out the shape of the characters. Good luck!

-from comment swap.
It’s so unusual to have the main protagonist as your main narrator, because you’ve got be careful not to stray too far from the author’s original presentation of them and then you’ve got to consider how other people might receive the character, so I hope you’re going to be mindful of that. You need to capitalise ‘District 13’ every time because it’s obviously the name of a place and you should probably proof-read what you post beforehand to prevent grammatical mistakes. It’s only on the first chapter so this has potential; good luck.

Hello, Comment swap brought me here....

I havent read the Hunger Game's and Ive only quickly looked at other fanfictions on here.

Straight away then yours stands out, the concept is a lot different to the usual ' girl in the games' but using the main character of the novel/film as your main protagonist could be difficult as you have to retain the authors original sense of that character.

However, its a good idea to introduce the characters so early on in your story and I think it could be really popular.
Good luck with your writing <3

This is from the comment swap :)

I've never read the Hunger Games books and really didn't enjoy the movie, so I can't comment much on the plot as such.

District 13 should probably be capitalised, as it is a name of a place.

You are using both the past and the present tenses on and off throughout your story. From "People of district 13" to "Will our children have to be faced with this? What does this mean?'" you have written in past tense.
From "I have no answers" to everything would be alright." you have written in present tense.
From I put my head in my hands as Peeta gently massaged to "We need to start another rebellion." you have written in past tense.

It looked more like a haven than it ever had at that moment.

"There can only be one victor." Peeta said grimly.
'Peeta said grimly' is not a full sentence by itself. This should be written:
"There can only be one victor," Peeta said grimly.

"We played the game well," Peeta riddled.

"In most cases, there is only one survivor," I muttered.

[Comment Swap] So I've only seen the Hunger Games film and I don't know anything about the story past there, but this is an interesting concept. The characters are introduced nicely and you do a good job of setting up the concept, although your word choice sounds awkward and formal and a lot of your dialogue is incorrectly punctuated. Good start, though!

I was sent here by Comment-Swap as well. I'm not a fan of The Hunger Games, I don't enjoy reading book series. Even though I've never even read a chapter from the series, I know a little about and I must say that your story is well composed. It's a good idea to introduce most of the characters in the first couple of chapter, since it becomes very confusing after, so good job on that. If you continue writing, I think you'll get many reads. If you continue with this story, and it being pretty good, I suppose you might intrigue me to read The Hunger Games.
Good Job! :3

I was sent here by Comment-Swap, and I gotta say that The Hunger Games don't interest me at all!, but with that being said, this story ir pretty good after all, but during the fact that THG don't interest me, it's really hard for me to get into the story.
But your gramma is good, and you describe yourself really good, which is definitely a plus from my side, so keep going.
Though I would say that there's too much dialog :)

Oooh! The Hunger Games! I love The Hunger Games. This fic made me sad, however--the thought of more pain for Katniss and Peeta and everyone else makes me want to cry. It's quite good, and I encourage you to keep writing! Is this the only installment? Or is there more to come? The end seems to leave it as a cliff hanger of some sort--is there more? If so, I can't wait!