Nutella - Comments

Comment Swap! So first of all, the layout is great. There's not too much going on. Nice and clean. So far, the story is pretty good. Besides a few awkward sentence structuring, the writing is great! Not too much fluff, but enough to keep you interested. On the critiquing side of things, I feel like the first chapter was a little rushed. Yes, you want to hook the reader, but it seems like not enough is told about her surroundings. This (sounds) like a different world, one with magic, vamps, and all that yummy stuff, but nothing is really explained about it. But that's just a thought. And uh, Nutella? I love Nutella, but it's kind of an odd title for the book. XD But keep up the great work.

Comment swap: I like this story :) to start with, your layout/picture is nice and clean looking, easy to read. I don't usually go for the science fiction like stories but you start off nicely with an interesting first chapter that makes a reader want to know more. I like how you present the characters through the main characters thoughts instead of having her narrate and explain everything that is going on around her, which is a common mistake. I'm a little confused about the title but I'll put that aside. Good work and keep writing!

Love it more plz

Nutella is freakin good with a glass of milk! Btw why is it called nutella? Update soon. Temple run is the best game ever. when you wrote "shite" in that onw chapter I almost died. It reminded me of Nutty Professor the movie lol XD

Comment Swap

The layout is really clean and pretty. I like the main character and I like the idea. I curious to how things will turn out and also to learn more about the "realm" they live in. Especially if her mother has dragon blood. That really interested me. I feel like it's almost written in a diary format though. I think the writing could be a little stronger, but there aren't any big mistakes or anything. Really good :) Keep going!

Lol so i came here via comment swap and was quickly captivated by your quirky writing style. I'm very interested in how this will go :P
I'm glad i came upon it lol
Also i love the layout, though it seems very formal in contrast to the story itself.
I look forward to reading more :D

yay new chapters i am overly happy today because of you :) and i'll be excited for the next ones to come

i feel like a big major duffus face because i cant figure out how to say thanks for the message and i shall always be here to comment and we can only hope make you laugh :) and just so you know i love commenting and i hope to read more soon <3

yay new chapter can i get an applause for you my friend and i am ever so looking forward to reading more of this masterpiece from you :D

Cool layout, btw.

Nutella sounds awesome right about now.

It's a really cool idea, a bit short tho, you could make it longer by adding more description :)

Hehe, I like this! I wasn't expecting the magic bit but I've never read a magical arranged marriage, and I totally admit that cliches are my guilty pleasure. xD

I really like the main character too, she's very blunt but it's really funny! I can't wait for an update! Sadly though, I think I must. :3

Nutella is my favourite, too. c:

oooooooooo i like it and i cant wait till you really get started in the meantime i'll be dying :)