The Sound of the Beach - Comments

Comment swap.

Firstly, I like the layout, it;s pretty and keeps in tone with the idea of your story.

I think the way you've written the summary is lovely, it really draws you in. This is one heck of an emotional story, let me tell you that! But it;s so sweet at the same time.

The descriptive words you've used are so elegant and sophisticated, I really like d that. Although this seems to me to be more of a poem than a story, I still loved it

This is really sweet and emotional, which is good to have in a story.

Very moving. I like how you aren't afraid to say things as they are, you don't smother it in detail, and it's easy to understand what the girl's feeling with her every word. And the rhyming is good as well, always important as it makes the lines flow. Altogether, a beautiful sweet story of a girl whose father died at war.

Keep writing! You have promise.

I'm confused as to whether this was a story or a poem. Or a story as a poem.
You did a good job with the rhymes, which is very hard, so kudos for that! I can't decide if I liked this or not. I feel like there wasn't a lot going on and it was kind of boring. I think you had a good message, though, and I really like the last few lines of the first chapter. It was really pretty and really spoke to me. I liked that it seemed like he had left her in the beginning, but really he didn't have a choice. It was a very moving story!

Oh wow, this was just…amazing! Your words are so elegant and the way from the description leading into the story/poem itself was so beautifully written, it goes beyond words. That was truly touching, and a wonderful; although short read. You have an amazing talent for writing. Keep it up!