Lola - Comments

Completely amazing. The way you write is mysterious and captivating. Amazing job

Love this!

Yeah, this is the one. Need to read more of this girl, honestly. You're the first author on mibba that has the ability to keep interested.

And trust me... that is an almost impossible feat. I kid you not. Omg. Subbed and Recced!

Jasmine, there is a break coming up. Write woman!

I really wanna read more! Please write more! <3

“Would you mind if I called you Lolli?”

i like this line so much idk i think i can tell a lot about Alfie just from this line (obviously i don't know everything about him) it gives him sort of creepy vibes you know? things like that or idk i have no idea what i'm saying anymore

basically every line from this is brilliant and i think you are brilliant and dear god the author's note is the best Lana song

I enjoyed this. The writing technique. The style. It's very beautiful and simple. There were few grammatical errors but I mean everyone has those.

I have seen these stories everywhere and I haven't been able to read any of them because I thought that they were over used but your story has changed my mind.

Overall it's amazing and I would say keep writing.

Okay, so before I comment on the actual story I'm just going to go ahead and point out any grammatical/spelling errors I catch and then I'll go ahead and give an actual review on the story itself.

SUMMARY
the flowers that bloom despite of the weeds. you don't need that 'of'.

CHAPTER FIVE
trying her best to sound like an fucking angel it would be 'a fucking angel' not 'an' since there's no vowel at the beginning of the word after it.

--

So I've been noticing that these stories are everything. Stories about girls who have died and people retelling said stories. Either the one who died or someone close to them. I swear I've read like six of them in the past two days. Also all of these girls are like super sluts or something who look super innocent. WHO THE EFF STARTED THIS TREND? I WANNA KNOW.

The story itself is really well written, I've always enjoyed your writing though. You give it a very amazing language and adapt your characters wonderfully. The only thing I don't like is that I've seen this story line a million times and I"m not saying you didn't start it or you stole it, I've just read it before you know? But any way, great job. Subscribing.

Beautifully written. I'm very glad I stumbled upon this. Please update soon.

This is wonderful so far.
I'm really interested in seeing just how Lola died. Although it must have something to do with Alfie...
Update soon! I can't wait. c:

i love this !! i never know what to say it's just so wonderful♡

love this. really do, can't wait to see where this goes. <3

This story seems really interesting and I'm excited to see what happens next. Definitely update! ;)

Please, please, please, please update this beautiful story. I am so in love. ♡

Please update this soon! Gah, I love it.

I love this story so far, and I love the way you write, it’s very captivating. Looking forward to reading more magical words!

I'm officially in love with the story. Can't wait to read more. -A

Keep it up by the way, it's really good so far!

I think Lola has high cheek bones and big brown eyes, that make her look older, she's also quite tall for her age with long wavy auburn hair that tumbles way past the middle of her back. I feel like she's a little paler than usual and she is slender and has 'the body to die for'.

a young dominique swain crossed with gemma ward? please keep this up oh my gosh it's gorgeous