Dark Dance - Comments

Contest prize:

This is something I have never seen before. It's a bit of a mix of Eragon and the average fairytale. Which I really like. I also find it quite interesting how worn down shoes are the key to their hand in marriage. I never read that before.

The beginning was a huge word dump though, meaning all the information was right there, why the shoes were worn down, who the sisters were and even the man of the story. I think if the shoes being worn down was kept a mystery it would be more alluring. It would also keep the readers guessing.

It was still a really good story though. Very unique which catches my eye. I think it's really good. So great work on this one.

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This is a beautiful story. Looking at the layout and the title, I thought for sure it would be a regular, medieval based romance, but the summary pulled me forward, almost as if putting me in a trance and making me want to read. The first chapter was indeed long but oh-so fantastic! I haven't quite read anything much like that. Wonderful job.

I found this story to really really enjoyable. I really hope you keep writing and I would love to see this get published in the future because it is just that good. I know if it did I would totally buy it!!

I also really like the theme of this. I will be honest and say that I really don;t like this type but I found yours amazing another thing there really is no problems with this

This is a beautifully crafted story. I love the way you manipulated the original fairy tale and I like that you didn't use one of the better known ones. I like that you moved the story between the perspectives of the oldest and youngest daughter.
You gave some interesting references about the world they were living in, I just wish we had learned more about the combination between medieval politics and modern technology. However, I think that for the progression of the story you gave just enough information about the world to make it grab the readers attention when the characters moved from the dragon stables to riding a fast motorcycle.
All together, the story was amazing. I look forward to reading the sequel X]
Well, done and good luck in the contest !

Oh, and [I forgot to mention this]I think that with some expansion and some editing this would be a brilliant story to publish!

Loved this story immensely!!!!! :D

I love iiiiiiit! The whole curse thing is cool, as is the happy endings with Judith and Leila!!!
Great! I look forward to reading the sequel!!!

Though it's hard to remember which lady's daughters are which :P

Though it's hard to remember which lady's daughters are which :P

From chapter one: Sam's voice made me hungry -.-

Oh, wow, this story is so amazingly written so far, and it's just flawless! Truly great work, it's polished, neat, flows smoothly, great structure! I can go on! :) It's like a real story that must be published!

So cute! @_@

That was sooooooo good! I'm glad that Leila's going to fulfill her dream of being a Dragon Rider, I bet she'll make a great one! Oh, and have I ever mentioned that I want a creature like Cyrus? He seems so awesome!

Anyway, this was an amazing story, I can't wait to read the sequel! I'm about to go subscribe to it and read it right now!

I love this and I'm sure the sequel will be just as amazing! :)

This was so cute! Sam and Leila are adorable. I can't wait for the sequel =)

Alright, for me, this story was a win before I'd even read a word of it because I absolutely LOVE retellings of fairy-tales.

And then I started reading it, and thinking, "Man, this is a good story just on its own, without my adoration of fairy-tales." And it is really good! I'm not familiar with the story of the 12 Princes, but I'm still really enjoying this story! It's very well-written, and I love this world that you've created, with the modern world mixed in with fantasy. The dynamics between the characters are awesome, and I just could go on and on about how awesome this story is.

But right now I'll stop, and apologize for not having commented sooner, and tell you two, AWESOME JOB!

Yay! Everything's starting to work out. Cortez is so cute!

I am so excited for what comes next. Pricilla got knocked off her high and mighty stand and now Sam and Leila can be together and so can Cortez and Judith (I hope) <3

So much action! That was kinda gross, but I'm glad they seem to have made it out in pretty good shape :)

Just found this story, it's amazing! What a great twist on one of my favorite fairy tales.

This is great! Leila is so brave. I hope everyone gets out alright...

Such a great story. It is very different from all the other stories I read. Keep writing!!<3