Deadly Diseases - Comments

A great start for the story. The first chapter itself is very intriguing. The amount of detail is great, though I'd have to agree with darkfallenangel on the detail with her outfit. Other than that, the story has a great start and I like where it's going. Great job.

So I have two opinions about the descriptions of the two mysterious people in the car. First, those boots are just gorgeous and I want them. Second, because you gave us pictures, I don't think it's necessary to have a lot of description about their appearance. I think the details about their manner or the vibes they give off or the way their eyes are looking are necessary, but not what their hair is like, or the clothes, you know? Since that's already in the picture. Just my opinion. :)

Ok, so since you mentioned grammar, I'll uh, point something out nicely? It was the only mistake I noticed, and half the time I didn't realise because I was so into the story. It was grammar, and it's the end of dialogue. You're missing full stops. That is all. Such a small thing.

I'm really excited to read more. It sounds super interesting already, is completely unique, and I really hope you update soon! Keep up the awesome work! :D