I'll See You In My Dreams - Comments

Comment swap;
First story I read on here and it's touching and yet so well writing. I love the way your writing flows with the story catching the details very well. Every comment on her basically took the words from my mouth; but keep up the great work I subscribed and update soon(:

So sad! :c I can see this turning out to be a great piece though with a great story line and interesting too. I would maybe lighten the background behind the words a little, but that is just me.
Everyone has already said everything that can come to my mind such as how it is detailed and it makes you apart of the character's life.
I really enjoy this story and can't wait to read more of it! Also, hopefully you get a good grade on this paper for school.

Subscribed, and update soon!

OMG WHY WON't COMMENT SWAP LET ME GET OFF THIS STORY! I AM SO, SO SORRY ABOUT THIS. But i'm just gonna re-submit my original comment in the hope that that helps. asdfghjkl I am so flippin sorry about this! :(

"Here from comment swap, and really enjoyed it! Not a massive ATL fan, but that wasn't important as a reader, and the story isn't anything to do with the band. Really well written, greatly enjoyed :)

The only thing I might suggest would be to change the characters name and make this original fiction. As this is nothing really do with Alex or the rest of the band, you could get away with it not being a fanfiction. The only reason I suggest this, is you might get a better response for it, as some people who don't like All Time Low might start reading already with a bad view of it, because of their feelings for the band, rather than giving your story and writing skills a fair shot. It's obviously still great though, thats just a small and not-really-important suggestion ahah :)"

Not sure why comment swap keeps saying I haven't commented... So um, still well written haha! haha sorry bout this! xD

Comment swap has brought me here again! Haha really good, and uhh yeah. That's all I can say really, said it all before haha :)

Here from comment swap, and really enjoyed it! Not a massive ATL fan, but that wasn't important as a reader, and the story isn't anything to do with the band. Really well written, greatly enjoyed :)

The only thing I might suggest would be to change the characters name and make this original fiction. As this is nothing really do with Alex or the rest of the band, you could get away with it not being a fanfiction. The only reason I suggest this, is you might get a better response for it, as some people who don't like All Time Low might start reading already with a bad view of it, because of their feelings for the band, rather than giving your story and writing skills a fair shot. It's obviously still great though, thats just a small and not-really-important suggestion ahah :)

This is a well written one-shot. Its very detailed, and well structured. The fact that I could literally relate to every movement he made was amazing. Its not the creativity of the story, it's the reality of it. It makes it real, and personal. I felt as if I were there, in pain and grieving as well. This is a piece you should be very proud about.

This was a really beautiful and moving one shot. Very well written, no grammatical errors or anything. There was only one line that caught me as imperfect, and that's the line "Staring down at the now lifeless form was disturbing almost for the boy, the sight of someone so close to him, someone who he could have learned so much from." Ok, actually I have two comments about this line. One, it sounds kind of incomplete in a way, as if the sentence was almost cut off suddenly. Two, I would switch "disturbing" and "almost" to make it "almost disturbing" instead of "disturbing almost".
But other than that, very well done piece. You should be very proud of it.

This is a beautifully written one shot. Normally one shots on death are written too quickly, focussing on how they died rather than the personal turmoil it gives to other people that knew them.

After what happened to Alex's real brother, and the song he wrote in tribute to Dan, this story seems a way to pay respect to how strong Alex had to be, whilst using a character construct. I have read a story on here based around Alex and the death of his brother, and it was brutal and used his brother as an actual construct.

The writing flowed well, and the simplistic background helped create an atmosphere without pulling away from the story itself.

I was sent here via comment swap.

So, I wouldn't have originally read this, as I'm not All Time Low's biggest fan (having a younger sister that's completely obsessed tends to put you off). The layout is simple, but lovely. I quite like it. Your summary is short and sweet, and let's the reader know exactly what the story will be about without actually giving away the entire story.

I like how you have him sitting up the back rather than down the front. I never liked the idea of a funeral when I was younger, and probably would have done the same, so I think you've got it very realistically portrayed there. Your description, although a little stilted at ties, is still really good, and your sentences seem to flow very well together. The last line is absolutely beautiful, I think you've done a really good job of portraying Alex's emotions throughout the entire piece. I'm really glad comment swap brought me here, because this is a lovely piece of writing.

What made me interested about this comment swap was that it was All Time Low and I don't usually read their fanfic's but I like how you have it starting out, it's sad, and I can understand all of it. I love your writing style and I hope to see you update it soon.

I have to thank Comment Swap. I wasn't and am not, a fan of All Time Low and don't really like to read stories about them. If I saw this story somewhere else, I wouldn't read it. However, it would be a miss. I really liked the language of the story and the plot. I really really enjoyed reading it. Thank you (:

Comment Swap. :)
Wow. All I have to say is wow, this was so well written and really touched my heart. I'm a huge All Time Low fan and Alex has been my idol for years, so I was so excited to get sent here through comment swap, before I'd even clicked the link just by reading the Lullabies lyrics for the title got me extremely excited. This was so sad, and you wrote it in such a beautiful way, you have such a great way of being able to set the scene and using great descriptive language that it drew me in even more. You are extremely talented when it comes to writing so I hope you keep at it as you most definitely have a gift. You expressed Alex's emotions beautifully also and the story flowed so well, so well done to you. Keep up the great work.

that was written so well.

excuse me as I go cry in my corner and never come out.

Oh wow, that was such a sad story! The writing flowed so easily and perfectly that it really expressed Alex’s emotions. Beautifully told, honestly amazing writing - keep up the great work. I didn’t spot any mistakes and it was a wonderfully expressed short story.

Hello from comment swap! I'm always nervous when I check the fan-fiction box on comment swap because It would be my luck to get some fan fiction that I had no idea who it was about and couldn't care less, but I landed the perfect story with yours! It was kind of bittersweet because I absolutely love Alex Gaskarth, but your writing is so detailed and descriptive that I read it with a heavy heart. You managed to narrate very clearly an event that is so sombre and so emotional that it's hard to think straight because there is so much going on. The writing flowed so seamlessly that I couldn't believe when it ended and I wanted more to read!

Comment Swap!

Your first few lines could use some touching up, it didn’t quite intrigue me, but the second paragraph got me excite and I kept reading. You lack some descriptions in certain areas, just remember that you have to trap us in your story and stop us from wondering off. There are also spots that seem to skip as if it was a scratched disk. Read this out to yourself aloud and see if you can notice what I have. Using a lot more similes will add to your characters profile, mention key items like clothing, shoe laces that need tying, the way their hair is done or if their rooms are clean. Slowly build a character one brick at a time and you’ll keep the reads following you. The tone you are using is very well done and suits your story but I would match the tone every chapter depending on the main character’s behaviour. This will make the reader assume how this character feels in the room, towards someone, or the idea of a certain thought, giving us the insight we need to become emotionally attached towards them.

Thanks for the read and I hope you keep writing because this has potential.

This is so adorable and upsetting all at the same time! I love how you were able to capture a solemn feeling that was repetitive throughout the whole thing, I don't think I found any grammar or spelling errors, which always makes for a good Fanfiction

Comment swap, hey so I REALLY liked the beginning. Your writing flows really well making it easy and enjoyable to read. It was so good, I felt as though I was with Alex at the funeral and in his thoughts which is what makes an amazing writier. I love the layout, even though layouts dont bother me at all. No spelling mistakes or anything like that, which some people bitch and moan about. But I really loved it and please write more!