For a Horizon - Comments

This piece is kind of different from most, the characters' dialogue is original, although it has some grammar mistakes.. lol ;)
Just go through it and fix some things like "We're sat in bed" should be "We are sitting in bed"

Some things though, you should try to describe the characters even more, like how the girl thinks she is doing wrong or evil is kind of apparent, however since the story is short and simple, if you add more reflection it might help. Especially around how she feels she deserves to be caught. That's something that's unexpected.

This was a very well written piece. While reading, I find myself more attracted to feeling sorrow for the boy in this situation. He truly felt in love with her, despite the situation they were in. You could feel the heartbreak he felt when she just wrote everything off as if what they did didn't matter. I loved the emotion you portrayed in this piece of writing. Keep writing great stories!

Very straight forward, is what I can say, of course, once you figured out what was happening, you got the jest o what was going on between these two. I'd probably feel guilty about it, even if I had a husband, I wouldn't do such a thing. All in all, it's very well written, just short, but good. :) keep it up!

This story was, remarkable. I love the way I can just tell how this girl is feeling, and how the boy is feeling. While the woman is cheating on her husband with this boy, I ended up feeling bad for her and her situation. I really want to know what happens next. A very good read.