The Truth About Forever - Comments

So, after reading this I can definitely tell you've progressed as a writer. That's not to say that this isn't a good story, because it 100% is. I loved how you started it with her parents, and how you've got everything repeating like it does. I did catch a few spelling mistakes, but again, whenever I read your stuff I'm just enjoying it all so I don't take the time to mark it down. I'm going recommend (of course) and subscribe (almost sadly.) I hope you give this story some attention soon, because I truly do wish to see more of Viola's story and actually meet this Jasper.

Oh my gosh! Please tell me you are still working on this story! This is utterly fantastic!

I completely love your writing style. I have not seen anything like it. I really hope you have not left this story because I have subscribed in hopes of reading more.

Reading more about Viola. And this Jasper character that I know nothing about so far.

Wow, This Story Is Great. I Really Liked It. I Really Feel For Viola, Even Though I Think Her Description Was Limited. The Gif Used In The Layout Is Gorgeous Btw And I Love The Quote Under Because That's One Of My Favorite Ed Sheeran Songs. Not Every Many Stories I Read On Here Have A Prologue So I Was Really Happy To See That. It Was Very Well Put Together Too. I Enjoyed Reading It. All In All This Is A GREAT Story And I 10/10 Would Recommend. Definitely Subscribing.

I like the layout a lot. I love the color scheme, I think that it fits the tone and feeling of the story itself. The only issue I had was the font is really small which makes the story harder to read.

I like the length of the chapters as well. I think if you went too much longer it would become to bogged down by the repetition but the length that you have them at is perfect for the amount of repetition you use.
Which brings me to my next point, I love the repetition in this story. It gives it a wonderful rhythm. The repetition gives it rhythm but the way your sentences are structured at times can break up the rhythm a bit. Reading the story out loud can really help with finding those bits and pieces where it sounds a little awkward.

The prologue was beautiful. The majority of your word choice through out the story is incredibly rich but I think that makes it really standout when an adjective isn't so rich or the wording doesn't flow as well as it does in the rest of the story.

I'm curious to see where the story goes and I'm wondering if the repetition is going to continue throughout or if you are going to gradually distance the writing away from it.

your style of writing is utterly fantastic.

I really like the layout. I like how it's simple and easy to read. The background looks and works really well with your story, and I like the fact that it looks a bit cracked because that's one thing I sort of thought about while reading this. The family was cracked or broken.

The first chapter was so beautifully written to me, I was kind of surprised by it. I love how to repeat things and how it emphasizes what you want to be noticed within the story, it all just sounds so great. I'm really happy about this.

The second was breathtaking also. I just thought that this
The couple many have had different ways of how life would treat them all but they thought
was a little awkward for me to read, I had to reread it. I was wondering if there's a typo in there or if it's just me but who knows.

I really like this story and i'm really interested in reading about Viola.

I'm definitely intrigued. I like the way that it started a little backwards, starting with her as a young adult and then coming back to her birth.

Your writing is extremely fluid, and the sentences have a good bit of length without feeling like a run on or anything of the sort. You also manage to pack a lot of imagery into them that makes the writing really come alive.

I also LOVE how to flip between the men and women counterparts within a sentence. Like this line: She was a young woman of twenty with golden blonde hair and he was an old man of forty with gray strands dominating his.

I think it adds something different to the writing that I really enjoy.

The sudden POV shift is another interesting twist. I usually don't like it when it goes from third person to first, but it feels fitting for this.

I can't say too much about the character, since the knowledge in limited in only four chapters, but I'm quite fond of Viola. She seems like she wouldn't be a stereotypical "damaged" kind of girl, but an interesting character that I'll actually feel for.

I'm subscribing and I look forward to more! Update soon so I have more to talk about :3 Hahaha.

xxx Bee

This is really good.!!!!!

its so sad that their marriage is falling apart, but you still write tragedy so perfectly.

i adore the layout; its so pretty and simple and it makes me want to read the story even more than I did before with your amazing tittle. However, I think you should use a darker color for the links because I can't read them.

First off, I love how you structured the prologue. Each paragraph being a separate intensity of a relationship was awesome and beautifully put throughout. It definitely is a great way to entice the reader and I definitely want to read more after the beautiful introduction.

The first official chapter made my emotions knot up with the fights of the parents and how it affected the child. I can relate, so that hit home a lot. In addition, I LOVE the repetitive rhythm and poetic style that your writing holds. It all goes into a pattern and I adored that so much. Your style of writing is magnificent.

I loved the third chapter just as much as I did the others. It's sad to know that she's all tied up in the alcohol and all that it does to her, but I'm so excited to see how her actions as a teenager lead up to her life as an adult. I noticed that you haven't updated in quite some time, but I would L-O-V-E to see more of this story; so please update! I am so, so happy that the comment swap brought me here, because I have found an amazing story and you have yourself a new subscriber :D!

I loved the summary, it was really interesting. <3 I liked the way your two first chapters were written with the usual use of "someday, she and he". I didn't like the last sentence of chapter one. It didn't fit well and the second chapter is like a continuation of chapter one so you should make the both of them to one chapter. Also the title for chapter two has to change. Its way too long. This has great potential and you have the writing skills to turn this story to a gem. Keep up the great work dear author. Xd

I loved the summary, it was really interesting. <3 I liked the way your two first chapters were written with the usual use of "someday, she and he". I didn't like the last sentence of chapter one. It didn't fit well and the second chapter is like a continuation of chapter one so you should make the both of them to one chapter. Also the title for chapter two has to change. Its way too long. This has great potential and you have the writing skills to turn this story to a gem. Keep up the great work dear author. Xd

The story though in its begin stages seems to be very good and is written poetically which is always a unique twist on traditional story telling. The smilies you are using are very descriptive and telling, as is the visual imagery and the use of repetition. Thoroughly well written, keep it up!

that was sad. i don't really think i could give you any useful criticism except to say good work and keep at it and stuff and stuff. Also I was wondering if you like soda, I love it! also ninjas are cool also did you know that tacos come in groups and packages of things? that is cool i never knew that before

that was sad. i don't really think i could give you any useful criticism except to say good work and keep at it and stuff and stuff. Also I was wondering if you like soda, I love it!

Oh my goodness! The sheer beauty of this story is overwhelming! I absolutely adore the way this story is written. It's simply amazing! I noticed a few spelling mistakes and in the last sentence of each paragraph the word "of" should be "have", but other than that, this piece was flawless. Please, please, please update again soon!

Holy crap! Comment swap brought me here and I'm SO glad it did! This was beautifully written and so, so, so entrancing! From the first sentence I was hooked. The way it's written made me feel like I was reading a poem or song lyrics because there's something about the rhythm of the words. I absolutely adore the progression you took with this and cannot wait to read more. Please, please, please update again soon! This is absolutely amazing! I'm recommending and subscribing!

Please, I beg you to you continue this masterpiece of a story. It caught my eyes and intrigued my brain. A very rare find amongst other stories, not saying that the other stories sucks.

And I don't usually beg when it comes to commenting, so I hope you continue this.

I love the way you write! The way it flows and everything, it's amazing.

The layout is gorgeous.

I will definitely be subscribing, I can't wait for another update. :)