Wow that was amazing to read. It was just so intense and I loved it. It started and ended perfectly. So glad they told each other they love one another. Really keen to see what happens now.
Awww that was beautiful. I am so glad you wrote about Rose. It was great to read about their friendship. I am so glad they are officially together. Keen for the next chapter.
I really don't like Aunt Janette... she doesn't seem to understand that she's makng things worse rather than better by acting the way she is. Hopefully Lindsey will move out before her aunt drives her to do something stupid again xx
I really love this story !! I've read it in one shot! <3 This is the kind of story I love to read, plus, it's with Danny. ^^ This chapter is really nice. I'm really happy to see that at least, she smiles at him. It's a good start. Can't wait to see what'll happen next. xx
@ lozzieee dwarf. Thankyou! And i know, i'm used to writing First Person but i wanted to try out Third. Clearly i'm not very good, haha, so i might go through this story and make it back into First Person. It's much easier for me to write that way. Thanks for the feedback!
This is rather good; I like the premise. I'm a massive McFly fangirl myself and have written a fair few McFly fanfictions in my time.
However. You jump between tenses quite frequently, making the narrative structure quite confusing to follow. Your grammar's a little off too. I love your layout though :)