Never According to the Plan - Comments

Hi! I think that your stories structure was very good! It's been a long time since I have read harry potter (Almost 4 or 5 years) so I can't really comment on the content of your story, but I will say that I lobe how descriptive you are! The first chapter, where you explained hermoine's distaste for Ron, and how she thinks of him as 'dumb' kid, really helped set up the rest of the story for me! Honestly reading this story made me remember the story a little bit more! My favorite part is when you started bringing up Hermoine's feelings for Ron, because you did it very subletly and I think it set up all of the future chapters. Anyways great book so far!

Instead of saying Hermione did this, Hermione did that, maybe say: Hermione did this, she did that. It would make it sound a LOT better. Sorry I am being so critical, I know it's really harsh and it's annoying (believe me I know) but I am just trying to help xx

Instead of saying Hermione did this, Hermione did that, maybe say: Hermione did this, she did that. It would make it sound a LOT better. Sorry I am being so critical, I know it's really harsh and it's annoying (believe me I know) but I am just trying to help xx

I love Harry Potter and I think this is an interesting idea. I have always loved Hermione and it was nice to read it from her point of view. However, I think you could add some more description and sensory detail to the piece, it was a little bit like: Hermione did this, Hermione wished that. Good luck with your writing!

I won't lie, really not in to Potter and Co but this was good! Had me reading on! Didn't see certain twists coming and to be honest, you've portrayed the characters very well. Makes me think of hogwarts as a seedy place which certainly perks it up a little lol Although not a potter fan, I'll be interested to see where this leads. Very well written. Shame not more up though lol

Sent here by comment swap. :)
Much like MarchofTheDead, I normally don't read Harry Potter fanfictions. They're just not my cup of tea. However, I did enjoy the beginning of this. It's very well written and flows smoothly. I also like how you incorporated other characters that we as an audience know, but not she. It was done subtly and very well.
Write on!

Hiya, from comment swap : ]
So I normally do not read Harry Potter types of stories, but this one is different because out of the ones I have read, they have never been in Hermonie's point of view. Hermonie has always been my favorite character in the movies and books ever since I was a kid, and I am glad that you are writing this. Its nice to see something different done in a Harry Potter fan fiction : ]
Draco doesn't seem as cruel as normal in this story, and I kind of like it. I hope you update soon, and when you do, I can't wait to read the next chapter(s) : ]

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OMFG ! I LOVE IT! I found no faults and the second chapter, at the end I was like "It has to be Ron or draco but more likely Ron. it CANT be draco he'd flip shit! and then BAM It was draco and I curled up in my chair and started hyperventilating and fan-girling. and this story may make me ship dramoine! (of course romione is my otp but dramoine will be less hated) But god dammit i fucking love it! Keep up the good work!

BROUGHT HERE BY LE COMMENTO SWAP LOVE SO HELLLO.
Please make this Dramione. I just. They're like my otp, and I would love you forever if you made them hook up. Well. I like it a lot and I think it's a great story, totally subscribed so you know I'll be looking for updates soon doll! Well, good work and it all looked clean to me, I enjoyed every word! DRAMIONEEEEEE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. YOU KNOW THEY'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER SO MAKING THEM LOVE EACH OTHER WOULD JUST BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO OKAY? OKAY. MAKE IT HAPPEN PLEASE.

hey, i was brought here by comment swaap. I enjoyed the story and your descriptive words, it helped me picture what's going on. your grammar is good, unlike some other people on mibba who dont know how to write stories lol. I love this! Your input on the story is well-written and understood. harry potter is amazing and im glad i found a fanfiction (: HERMIONE AND HARRY ALL THE WAY. lol anyways this is aamazing and i enjoyed every bit :)) I subscribed to the story because i love it, haha. Great job darling, keep writing (:

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I'm not really into Harry Potter so it's hard for me to get involved into the story. Your writing though, is very good :) You are very descriptive. It definitely helps the reader picture what is going on! Also, your grammar is absolutely flawless and I appreciated that immensely! :) Keep up the good work. :)

hey, i was brought here by comment swaap. I enjoyed the story and your descriptive words, it helped me picture what's going on. your grammar is good, unlike some other people on mibba who dont know how to write stories lol. I love this! Your input on the story is well-written and understood. harry potter is amazing and im glad i found a fanfiction (: HERMIONE AND HARRY ALL THE WAY. lol anyways this is aamazing and i enjoyed every bit :)) I subscribed to the story because i love it, haha. Great job darling, keep writing (:

I loved this! :D awww i'm so glad Hermione defended Harry :') I know that's not the focus of the chapter but I loved that haha. I thought she was gonna tell the other girls then, but it's good she didn't. Gosh, I can't wait for the next update! Things are not gonna be the same between Draco and Hermione at all ;)

via comment swap. :) <3

I don't read/watch Harry Potter so obviously I was kind of lost, but I'm the kind of guy that loves to be thrown into the middle of a story like that, you know? So it was all good. One thing I noticed about your writing is that you have a particular strength for descriptive dialogue tags. Like, it's not just 'he said' 'she muttered' etc. You put actions and the ways that they say things into it and it makes it sound really good. I wish I could do that. :') I also agree with the paragraph length, though. Description is good but make sure not to overdo it.

comment swap sent me :)

I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan so I was so excited to see this fanfic! With that being said, it was really difficult to read because of the huge paragraphs that were ~20 lines long. You should really break them up to make it easier on the readers :)

You really are a good writer though, so I hope you do continue writing this fan fiction!

I like the concept, but I would have liked to see another character added or something like that. Though I do like what you have here. Maybe some more details and Hermione character development would help the story flow a little bit better. Your writing is exceptional and I wnt to see you show that off!

I like your concept, writing how Hermione feels throughout the novels is something that fans could really relate to, she is muffled born like all of us after all. So far, however; I can see that it is already in trouble of becoming predictable. When writing a Harry Potter fic, something so popular, you can assume that you readers are already HP fans. We want some new that J.K. hasn't already written or that we couldn'it gather from the films. So work that creative muscle of yours and throw in something new. You've already off to a great start.

The only other thing I see if grammer mistakes sprinkled here and there, but nothing that takes away from your writing.

Comment swap brought me here :)
I personally am not a Harry Potter person, but I did enjoy what I read for the most part. I would add detail or something between all of the dialogue just to split things up.
I think that you should explain a little bit more about things in the first chapter. Maybe explain Hermione, Harry and Ron's relationship more. Why is Ron unreliable and ignorant? Things like that.
I don't really know much about the series so I can't really compare things, but I think that this story does have a lot of potential.
Good Luck with the rest of the story!

Hey, I'm here from comment swap.
I really don't like spinoff stories from books, especially Harry Potter. I love the books and I feel that people who write HP fanfiction just take all the characters, plot and relationships straight from the book and claim them for themselves. You didn't add any original characters, which only strengthens my point further. However, this story was readable, unlike some others.
I think you should get someone to make you a theme, because your one isn't very attractive and doesn't draw you into the story. Also, a beta wouldn't go to loss.
Good luck with your writing :)

Hey there :) Comment swap sent me here.

Hum, I'm not really a Harry Potter fan, so I only read the first two chapters. But from what I read I didn't spot any spelling or grammar mistakes.

I read on the previous comments that the first two chapters were slower than the rest, and I believe this will get better as more chapters are added :)

Keep up the good work, and happy writing! :D