Perfect - Comments

Love the story, especially as when of the characters have my name (Lily). So sad, love it. Your writing is great thanks for writing this I love it so much!

Thank you @sowrongit'sSHANICE @Cat Eyes; & @Professor Snape for the feedback. I changed the transparency, so I hope that makes it easier to read now. And thank you Cat Eyes; for the link code. I didn't know how to do that :)

COMMENT SWAP. :)

I'm glad comment swap brought me here as I've really enjoyed what you've got so far! I can't wait to read more and find out where this story will go as your writing is great. I love how you've got such a great way of writing through describing scenes and emotions, it's something I always look for when I read a fic so it's another reason why I like yours so much even though it's so sad. I've never read anything like this before and it is great. The only advice I'd give to you would be just to maybe change the background slightly as it is quite hard to read. Keep up the great work and good luck with the rest of the story, I'm sure it'll be great. :)

I agree with the Professor Snape. It's as if all the colors are clashing and it's hard to focus on the summary. Speaking of the summary, it's hard to focus at all on the summary mainly because the font looks a bit...childish I suppose and it's very long. Shorten it up a little bit. As for the link, you can always put in a link by simply using this code
[url=][/url] The chapter itself is a bit rough but has enough emotion to get you through it. Good luck

My first piece of advice would be to reconsider the layout. The background is very harsh against the translucent content - it made reading this story very difficult.

This was such a sad chapter. I can't imagine something so devastating happening to me or more importantly, anyone else that I know. It was nice detailed and provided a good insight the characters, who were displayed nicely by the way.

I think if you continue with a good pace and plan this story out, then you can produce something very well wriitten.

A good chapter overall and good luck with the rest of it! I think it's a good idea and touches on so many important things.