One Thing - Comments

comment swap- im not a One Direction fan but i can tell from the first 2 chapters you've written that the story is well written and has great detail. The flow of the story is also quite nice making the story easy to read and understand. I like how you capture each characters feelings and such like the feet tapping on the ground nervously; it really helps to set a scene and then makes the story that much better. Lovely work!!

Are you guys gonna update this anytime soon?? :)
Cause I know it's not just me who would like an update. :)

comment swap!

Yay, I'm a directioner so I should enjoy this. First off I like the banner but since it's a romance I don't know if all the dark tones and colors are good to set off the romance unless there's going to be a murder or something darker in later chapters. Anyways, I do like the characters but in just the first chapters I saw recurring grammar mistakes and errors but we're all human. Here's what I found:

(Chapter 1) in a closet sized office sharing it with ugly colored walls and poor air condition ventilation. But we do try to make the best out of it as much as we can. I think instead of having the two sentences separate and keeping an incomplete thought you should just join them together with a comma instead of a period so that it doesn't sound so broken apart. With the period, the thought just stops then starts back again at the But which is sort of weird.

(Chapter 3) “Couldn’t sleep, I just want to get this over with.” I mumbled. instead of a period after the 'with', there should be a comma since 'I mumbled' is describing the dialogue preceding it. You always put a comma instead of a period when after the dialogue there's a sentence to describe the dialogue. i.e. "This is great," he said. or "You're so fine," she grinned.

There's lots of grammar I could pick on, just because it kind of pops out at me but otherwise I like the storyline and the characters. How could you not like One Direction? At first Harley and Ashlynn kind of seemed a little bratty to me, just my opinion as a reader of course, but Harley's kind of brash attitude towards the boys made me laugh and appreciate her a little more. :)

Love the story but im really curious as to what happened between harley and ryan. I still want Harley and Harry together though

Could you please fix the layout so I can see the chapters?

Gotta love Niall

xx

I love how Harley and Harry are finally official now!!
Update soon please?! :)
I love this story!

I loved how Harry and Harley worked things out and that they're official now! :)

I seriously love this. But I feel bad for Niall.
Update soon please. This was a great update!

i feel bad for niall! :(

: )

xx

Im in love with this story :O you need to update soon :D

:) This is amazing! <3 UPDATE!

I AM ALL FOR TEAM NIALL. THEY HAVE TO END UP TOGETHER.

IAN is beautiful. : )

xx

I am so in love with this story, it is absolutely ridiculous

So like, this chapter is great. But Harry shouldn't act like that towards the one he loves cuz..cuz he just shouldn't.
But wonderful update. :)
You two need to update this ASAP!

OH MY GOSH I JUST READ THIS WHOLE THING FROM 1-30 IN LIKE AN HOUR I AM OBSESSED. she needs to just be with Harry because i love Harry and that's just how it needs to be..
Update soon!!!

I was honestly cheering for Niall I mean it's kinda weird for Harry like walking in and seeing his best friend fingering the girl he likes but I was like DAMN NIALL GET IT

As the completely mature adult that I am, I was definitely saying "Get it Niall" for a second. haha
Harry is quite posesive. (And oddly I like that.)

xx