X-Men: New Wave - Comments

Hi, I've come across this in the comment swap so I'm just going to comment as I go c:

OOh! She has the power of mind control! Yay! I love mind control :P
One thing, speech always starts a new line and the end of speech is a comma, not a full stop. E.g. "Thanks, have a nice day," I said.
Ooh, telekinesis, not mind control? Even better!
Also, peak as in a tip, and peek as in quick look ;)

Second chapter, and I like her powers! Mind warping :3
So far, I'm liking. The characters are believable and the already existing ones are done realistically and true to themselves, which makes me keen! Also, this is my first X-men fan fic!
Also, I noticed it once before, ally is a friend and alley is a street :)
P.S. I don't know if I'm coming across as a know it all or something but I'm really trying not to be! I've never done this kinda thing before and I just figured do what you'd want someone else to do for me and yeah...

I'm on chapter 5 and I would just like to say, I am loving this so far :) It's keeping me intrigued and I love the attitudes of the characters :)

OOHH! What's happening? Do the twins have some kind of mind shield up? I'm so excited!
I'm glad they're starting to make friends though, and I like how Logan is trying to teach them the importance of working together, to be a team :)

Also, compliment is saying something nice and complement is to go with something. E.g. I shook my finger to compliment my words, should actually complement.
'It was nice of him to invite me I thought' probably could have used a comma after the 'me' as it's marking the end of speech. even if that speech is only in her mind.

Eighth chapter, em-dash instead of hyphen(I know what you were trying to achieve, and I only just recently learned about this myself.) Em-dash is two hyphens put together to use inn place of brackets, with no spaces either side.
Haha, I love Riley's sass xD

Ninth chapter, what's a Yat accent? I honestly have no idea.
/sigh, I love Logan X)

Aw :( Why did Pilar leave? D: Who did she go with? Will she come back?
I am loving Skylar, she fucking rocks.

Okay, so I've read everything so far and I think it's an awesome story with a lot of potential and I am super keen to read more of it!
There are a couple of grammatically errors, as I pointed out, plus some things are capitalised when they shouldn't, vice versa, but it's all minor stuff. Just proof read before you post, or better yet, get fresh eyes to have a look and it'll be perfect. I have nothing to fault on the story line/plot. The first X-men fan fic I've ever read and I'm keen to keep reading, so kudos to you :)

I have not seen x men so this was intriguing, one thing I will say, is that the story is really fast paced and I feel like you jump from one thing to the next really quickly without adding description/sensory detail. I can see that you have potential though, also I like your layout :) Keep writing.

This has been an awesome story! I love xmen and I think these characters really fit in well. I hope you find a new co author so you can keep writing!

Hm, really interesting. I like how you started it off, it really set the story into motion. I'm not really a fan of fanfiction, haha pun intended, but this was actually really interesting, so kudos to you two writers! I've only read to about chapter 5 and like I said before, I'm impressed. Formatting wise is perfect, the layout makes everything easy to read and it's suiting to the story. Spacing and paragraphs are good, although dialogue is what keeps a story going and worth reading, I feel as though you should add in more detail. I really liked how chapter 4 was, there was conversations going on but also detail that gave the reader more to read and more to visualize. But overall, it's so far a really good story. Keep up the good work!

I liked the backstory to the beginning with Riley, and how it started out fast paced, moving into the action. The story is very, very well written and fits the X-men genre extremely well, the character portrayals were excellent. I've only read a few chapters so far but I look forward to reading more. Keep up the great writing, you have a real talent!

So she has a crush on ice guy... lol

Curiouser and curiouser.

:)

I'm loving this more and more as I read it! Kurt is one of my favorites by the way c:

Product of comment swap here. :)
I'm really an X - Men enthusiast so I'm really looking forward on how you're going with this story. It is well written and I'm liking it so far.
Keep it up and of course I subscribed. :)

Comment swap brought me here.
You're writing a pretty good story here and I am enjoying it so far and am looking forward to the next installment.
Your punctuation and grammar is fine and the style you're writing in is intriguing and very much so interesting.
So keep up the good work and I will drop by and read the next chapter.

This is really well written and I'm excited to see what hapens next! :)

@ TheAntsInvasion
Thank you can't wait to write more ;D

I cannot wait for more of this. I think you're going to go pretty far with it.