One More Night - Comments

@ VivaLaJack-O-Lantern
Thanks for the comment, even if it's through comment swap. But i wanted to try going out of order with the story, so i understand exactly what you mean about it being too quick. I'm glad you actually liked it.

So, I was brought to your story via comment swap and it's probably the first one that I've actually been interested in reading. I think that the idea that you have for this story is a really good one and it has the potential to be awesome but I feel like the two chapters that you have move extremely fast; it feels a bit rushed. Also, I spotted a couple of grammatical errors but they shouldn't be too hard to fix up with a little proof reading. Good work.