March 22nd, 2020 at 09:59am
Yes, okay! Yay! 
Summary:
You have a nice imagery setting and a solid idea for your project and that's really good and will be helpful to you as you keep on writing. The only thing which you need to revise may be the last paragraph of your summary. It's like you're trying to explain something to one of your friends about your writing and not like the summary of a story as it should be.
Chapter one:
One idea is that you could post the first chapter as two chapters. The Beginning of it all could be your intro were you tell us a little about about each character so we can get an idea and Ecton's Background could be your first chapter about going more into Ecton. Just a suggestion.
The first three paragraphs of him, remind me of myself.
You have some very large paragraphs, I'd suggest making those into smaller ones because I lose track of where I was reading. Some of them seem to stop but you haven't left a blank line.
That girl... is she playing him? It's like she's afraid of being found out from an actual boyfriend?
I don't like her.I actually don't like his dad either. Sorry!
Parents shouldn't be like this. I know there are people like that all over the world, but I just don't like it. Poor Ecton!You really did dig deeper into Ecton's character and past and how his life was unfair to him and he only met people who didn't matter. I really feel sorry for what he went through. Good job in bringing that emotion to us; readers.
Chapter two:
Um... where's chapter two? I will edit this when it's posted.
I can't wait to read about the rest of the characters.
That's all for now. Bye.
-Maria.
First up, thanks for taking the time. I love you too so I won't kill you and I love your criticism and your thoughts, opinions etc. Secondly, I love how you ask me not to kill you and then answer it "yes, okay! Yay!" Lmfao <3
Ok at the end of the summery, I know - it is meant to be like that, it will all tie into a twist much later on down the line. Hmmm, yes ok - I like this idea about chapter 1 being two chapters, I will change this a little later on today, thanks.
Wow, really, how does it remind you of yourself? That is interesting, I'm intrigued. And okay I will try to make the paragraphs more separate. And no, she was just insanely shy all the time, like not a tease, but....hmm, over here back then the word was called square Lol! A girl who would not put out or kiss or rarely do much, even if she had a nice caring and careful sweet guy, and I was to her! I mean, Ecton was to her! Hahah. About his dad, yeah - Ecton would grow into his teenage years hating his dad and telling him about it, he grew up resenting his dad a lot... For many reasons, which will not be in this story.
It wasn't hard explaining a little of Ectons past (Wink)
Cool, I can't wait to read your updates, I will get the other characters and the story all underway as soon as I can!! Mwah! <3