Close Your Eyes - Comments

I got this from comment swap, and probabaly never would have seen it if wasn't for that, but let me tell you, it was soo amazing and I am glad I got to read this.

I loved how you left this piece genderless because anyone could relate to it and I love that so much. Honestly you really wrote something amazing.

I honestly think this piece though very simple and stright forward was complete and utter perfection! :) I loved it so so so much! Great job!

Hello, I'm from the Comment Swap.
Very sweet, lovely little story. It's very ambiguous, which I like--anyone could be saying it. It isn't overly flowery or difficult to read. It could easily be any person's thoughts as they lay in bed.

I'm here from the comment swap.
This just flowed so smoothly. It was so simple, so serene, but at the same time you described the perfect, peaceful couple, and the best part that it could be in both a male's and female's perspective.
It's not done over the top. It's not forced. It sounds like something someone would mutter while they laid next to the person they love.

This is so pretty. In less than 200 words you created a scene of a peaceful couple. The use of the second person was very creative; I've only seen two or three stories that use second person successfully. I suppose that you have done very well with the emotional part, and obviously with the romance. It is just so simple, not too flowery nor too simple; it's just beautiful. I don't really know what else to say without adding a bunch of useless stuff. It's just so well-written with beautiful diction.

Comment swapping-
I love the fact that you wrote this in a prespective where it could be about anyone, girl or guy.
I like how simple it is and how it just flows so gracefully from word to word. It's a really beautiful piece of work that you've written and it's so calming.
Short and sweet would be the best way to describe it, and it was just so warm, fluffy and innocent. Keep up the good job :)

Comment Swap

This is just pure brilliance. Though it is short and simple, it is filled with pure beauty. The way you use you makes this all more realistic than it already is and concentrates on the depth of pure love, true love. Your writing is flawless, and as a fellow writer, you have my utmost respect. Oh my, definitely recommending.

I think you captured the essence of pure, innocent romance in this piece, and I loved that. The use of "you" makes everything seem so relative and personable, and it really reaches out and touches the reader. The picture above just makes everything even cuter, if that's possible. But I love it. You've truly captured a specific moment and did it so well. I love this. Definite recommend!

Here from Comment Swap~

There is really not much to say; this piece is beautiful, simple as that. You've perfectly captured the emotions of watching the one you love sleep. It reminds me of how I feel when I watch my own boyfriend sleep, which shows you've done a great job. I love the use of the word 'you' as if you're speaking to him. Like I said, I wish I could help you improve on this in some way, but there is really nothing I can do. You've done a fantastic job. Keep up the great work! xx

I thought this was sweet and you really captured the emotion of the story. I like that you used the 'you' pronoun in a way that isn't usually done. I love the way the narrator talks about the boy's face. It's really sweet the way that she admires him! The last line was really pretty, too!

Oh my gosh, this was such a nice read. Oh and although it hasn't got anything to do with the quality of the writing, I absolutely love the layout - it's so cute and really grabbed my attention. There is something about the simplicity of this piece that makes it appear incredibly well thought out and clever, and that's something I love to see in stories. Even the tone I hear from whoever is in this story is so very sweet and gentle and loving, and I read this with a huge smile on my face. This is one of my favourites, to be honest.

Wow, that was really great. I would like to start with how short and simple it was, yet it expressed more than some people manage to get across in their 50 chapter story! Beautiful imagery, and you leave enough detail empty to let the reader paint their own picture. As a side not, LOVE LOVE LOVE the gif. Goes really well with the.. "story." Overall, it was just great. Good job. ^_^

Wow... I just. I don't really have any words for this, it's so sweet and. :) Actually kind of sums of some of my feelings? Can I say that without sound so creepy? The image is cute. I loved how simple and sweet this was. Just it makes me smile, really good job!

This is sweet, like a sweet couple who live together, perhaps newly wed :). It's just adorable and soft and calming. Although never waking up sounds a bit scary, you might want to end less dramatically, unless of course the main character isn't meant to be there o.o.. haha ..

Anyways it's short and sweet and the moving picture is distracting yet cool. :)

Maybe she should speak of how she wants to be with him in heaven as well? That'd be a longer, forever, type of love *sigh* so cute. :)

Now that I see that photo, that is so awesome! I can't draw, but I'd love to know how THAT works! Good job indeed! Now...time to go to Google :P

this. THIS. it's so precious... I just can't even. ugh. no doubt, this has got to be the best thing I've read on here. it's so simple, yet to complex. it's wonderfully amazing and you had be smiling the whole. your use of description is fantastic, and I love the way you write. kudos to you. :)

OMG
WHY AM I SMILING SO HARD!? I just can't.
Even though there isn't much to comment on, it's still too fudgin cute.
And the GIF, gawd, it's as awesome as the one shot/drabble.
So yeah, byee :D

Comment swap sent me here.

I am in love with the layout. Oh my good lord, I am actually in love with it. It isn't a main concern of the story, but I just had to say it. It's perfect.

Onto the content. This was easily one of the cutest things I have ever read, period. I love that it's so simple, and that it seems to flow effortlessly. The last line is just so powerful, and it works really well in the grand scale of things. I couldn't spot any grammar errors, and I honestly have nothing to criticise.

Adorable, perfect, lovely. You've really done a fab job here, and you've most certainly got my recommendation!

Damn. How do I put this in a G rated comment? That was really good. It reminds me of a few things...but I'd rather not go into them. :P Good job!