And It Exploded - Comments

Breathtaking. Just absolutely stunning. I HATE sex scenes. They are just so awkward and usually make me think 'do the people writing this really have sex like that?'. Yours almost wasn't even a sex scene though. It was a beautiful moment between two lovers. It was amazingly perfect. Everything about this story was perfect.

This was really cute! I can't believe I haven't commented on this - actually I meant to do so since you entered my contest, but anywho, thanks for entering my contest and I really loved this story. I'm not a big fan of Brendan or Ryan, but you really did a fantastic job with this story! Great job.

I got to be honest with you though, i'm not used to this kind of writing style - the point of view though. But that didn't distract from the story or anything. :) Good job.

You are an excellent writer! I'm not much into Panic fanfics, but I defiantly like this a lot more than expected. Great descriptions. Great everything. Recommending story and you :)

I really find it hard to comment on your stories without repeating myself over and over again. Because as always, this is so breathtaking. End of the world/impending doom is one of my favorite settings for any stories, so I was really interested to see your take on it. I love how you make the whole setting a small detail in this story of two boys being in love and at the same time you make it the core of the story because it is everything Brendon can think of right now. It almost feels like the way they have sex is like a metaphor for the end of the world. A lot of people tend to romanticize it, but you describe it like it is: hurting and unpleasant and yet everything you want in that moment, because you just want the fear and the tears to be gone. Love, love, love.

I definitely would not have expected anything like this based on the image. It's a very different direction than I feel most people would have gone, which I think you have to do with an extremely popular pairing like this to make your story unique and stand out from the rest. The only complaint I have is that the connection between the three (inspiration, the setting, and the action) is a bit of a stretch. It works in a just go with it way rather than a natural combination. It's just lacking something that binds it all together because right now there's three interesting concepts that seem to work well separately.

The sky is falling. It's a very gripping first line and a wonderful set up. I really do love that the backdrop is the end. They are inevitably going to die because (I assume) it's the end of the world and that sparks this fear in both of them that each is coping with differently. I like that while Brendon is crying and he's clearly the terrified one, Ryan is more stoic about the situation because he has to hold it together for Brendon's sake. That's brilliant in its own right so I like the way you have characterised them. It also makes a lot of sense that Ryan is the top then because he feels, maybe not like the more dominant one, but the one that has to take control of the situation because Brendon surely isn't going to. I don't think he is capable of doing so at the moment and Ryan has to use the last bit of mental strength in him to do it. The simple way in which both of them are handling their certain death is probably one of the most compelling things I've ever read in a Ryden slash.

To me, it seems like you could take away this impending doom and still achieve the same raw emotion between the two of them. Like even if they were not about to die, they would still be doing this and it wouldn't be any more gentle. In fact, I think, even without it in the context of the end, the sex aspect still works. I'm torn on that. On one hand, it's great that even without any background, the connection between the two during this time all comes together and if, for whatever strange reason, someone just read from where they begin having sex until the second to last sentence, it wouldn't make any less sense. On the other hand, that means you have this exceptionally interesting concept that is just an unfortunate framing device. It's something you don't see in stories really and I just felt like that could have been used a little more. When you have such a unique angle, don't be modest and downplay it. You can still have the entire focus be on the two of them and their emotions without it distracting from that at all.

I really did like that Brendon never says I love you. He always says love you and I find that very interesting. It makes me wonder does he really, because surely if you're about to die and you're telling your significant other how you feel for the last time, you're going to say I love you, as it's much more meaningful, and you're going to make sure they know it. Love you has less emotion behind it. And Ryan never says anything. It seems mirrored in the way they goes about coitus. It's not slow, it's not gentle, it's not deliberate or emotional. It's quick, it's sloppy, it's a bit forced. Ryan just goes right in without lube. There's no preparation here. And Brendon directly says, "Fuck me?" instead of any other choice of words. He picks fuck me and I think that says a lot.

He wants to make love to his boyfriend, is all.

But Ryan doesn't really, does he? It's impulsive and urgent. It's out of need really, like I feel like this is what he's doing to take his mind off the reality around him temporarily. The affection part is only part of the intention. The whole thing is just buried in not wanting to accept what's going on and finding whatever way they can to hold themselves together rather than it's their last time together so they should make it special and count. I think maybe I just feel that way because Ryan finally breaks down after sex. It allows him to release everything he's been bottling up and boy, have I been there. Sex that ends that way is usually a selfish act. It's not about making the other person feel good, obviously, it's just trying to make yourself feel less awful.

It's a very interesting short piece. The idea behind it is something very neat and I thoroughly enjoy that it's not nice, fluffy, romantic relationship that floods stories so often. It's raw and unapologetic for not being the fairytale idea of sex. I have a lot of respect for that.

Happy Mibba Halloween. :)

I'm almost speechless. Wow. Wow. Wow. This is immaculate. I feel privileged to have even read it. Simply beautiful.

I almost hate to say it, (because of course your writing is the main feature) but I was immediately impressed because of the layout. It's stunning and complements the piece really, really nicely. I almost want to say that had you used anything else, the actual story wouldn't have been as good, except that would be a lie. What I'm trying to say is that I haven't come across many layouts that are this effective.

The sky is falling. One of the best opening lines. Ever. I suppose it's a cliché but it just works here. Like, you have my full undivided attention.

I really like your use of the active tense. It's simple yet polished.
Also your description is concise and really balanced. This may be a bit of personal preference but I honestly think that the less than a thousand words, adds to the piece so much more. The reader gets so much more out of one line of yours than a paragraph would have.

I get such a feel for your characters too, and their backstories as such. There's a lot left to the imagination of course, but the subtle hints throughout are really cleverly placed.
I especially like how you seem to understand the nature of a homosexual relationship. The amount of stories I've read on here that pretty much turn gay guys into females is ridiculous but that line "His dignity disintegrated" just...yeah, I think you understand what I'm trying to say.

Also, one of the best sex scenes I've read on here. It's not 'perfect,’ "It's unpleasant, but it's them." You should be declared a master of writing craftsmanship and just get it over with.

But by the way, that last bit pretty much destroyed my emotions. I hope you're happy. And I do mean that in the best way possible

Anyway, hopefully you've gotten something out of all the gushing. This is freaking amazing, beautiful, and you should be published. Well done.
I am definitely going to check out other stories of yours at some point because I am in total awe.
Happy Mibbaween! :D

I usually don't read Rydon/Ryden, I don't really like it all that much... But this.. Was absolutely amazing, very beautifully written, even though it was short, it did hold a lot of emotion to it and that is what I liked the most about it. You are a good writer, I didn't find any mistakes, you followed the rules/guidelines nicely. You made me want to actually read a Ryden/Rydon sometime :3

Very well done, I loved it.

-Sapphire Sky
xoxo

Although very short, it held a lot of emotion. It made me want to see how they ended up there and why he is scared.

The writing behind this is just too wonderful for words and the layout is stunning.

The pairing is interesting never would've thought about that but none the less I love love love it. Keep writing!

This was so sad to read.
But sad in a good way.
Even though it's such a short piece, it conveys such a huge amount of emotion. The writing in this is unbelievable, honestly. I thought it was a really unique plot idea, even though it doesn't reveal much of what's going on around them. I mean, clearly there's some sort of apocalyptic scenario going on, but I thought it was so beautiful how they just sort of focused on each other and tried not to dwell on what was happening outside of themselves
But still, it was really sad. It genuinely made me feel sad.
And I loved it.
Also, the layout is beautiful.
You're a wonderful writer.

Candy Bowl!

I don't really like things like this but I can see that you're a good writer. The way you described things in this was amazing! I felt sad but it was sweet. :)

lollipop~!

@ I'mxJefferyxDahmer! @ makemescreama7x @ Ash Ketchum; @ DreamerHarlotSinner
Thank you so much, all of you x

I'm sad and awwe'd by this...

Aw, both cute and sad :(

I totally didn't tear up, nope...totally didn't because that would be stupid and yeah...okay I teared up.
This is wonderfully written and I really didn't want it to end! Your descriptions are fantastic, and even though it's short, it still portrays so much.
The layout is grea, I really love it!
And I adore the way you've used the inspiration. It's refreshing and nothing like what I would have imagined to come from that picture :')

Second half of your Halloween treat = delivered! :)

The first line is really, really gripping, and you write fabulously throughout. Like someone else has already said, your writing style in this piece is almost poetic, everything flows perfectly. Your language is beautiful, and fits in really well with the rest of the story. This could easily have been dragged out into chaptered story, but I like that you've kept it short and sweet. Again, very impressed, well done! :)

@ Ryuk;;
Gah! Thanks so much for pointing that out! And for the lovely comment

That was incredibly deep and, like your other story Vacant, incredibly well written!
If I may, I spotted one very minor typo, it should read "Brendon's". "He doesn’t reply, just grabs Brendon hands in his and kisses him, lacing their fingers tightly." I make 'em all the time so I just thought I should point it out in case you were unaware. :)
Anyways, it was another great read and I think that you're an amazing and unique author since not a lot of people can write the way you do! Keep up the great work!! :D

You did a really job writing this and the style was really poetic. I liked the way you described the ending, and I thought the last line was the perfect ending, and it wrapped up the story really well!

Very interesting. Caught my attention right off. I really like this story and it's very well written. You keep a good pace and don't rush through like other stories i've read. Love this!