Cheers to Our Inevitable Mediocrity - Comments

BRILLIANCE.

BRILLIANCE.

okay the first sentence already has me obsessed. I'm going to comment like crazy here, forgive me.

THank you for entering this in my contest!

I really like the layout. The black on slightly lighter black makes a really nice contrast that's easy for my eyes to recognize but not weird or straining at all. I also want to compliment you on the title; seems like a clever song title or something like that, and perfectly melancholy for this story.

Disappointment tastes like pennies with a touch of relentless tears and body crippling sobs you'll never admit to. Great line, really great, though I think it would be better if it was just Disappointment tastes like pennies because that in itself is fantastic.

Timmy McKinnon is a name that sums up a character. Wow. Excellent name, excellent personification.

Your charaterization of everyone in your one-shot is really great. You have a way of making well-rounded characters with just a few lines and a few actions; your writing reminds me a little bit of John Green.

Overall, I loved the tone of the whole story and the imagery with every line. You are a really talented writer. Well done.