You didn't have to dedicate this chapter to me, but thank you. It's my pleasure to read this story. I love it so much. And this chapter, OH MY GOD. I'M SO SCARED FOR HER. I was pretty much holding my breath the entire time I was reading. Please, please update soon <3
I've been a faithful reader since chapter 2 and I knew it was going to be amazing from the start but little did I know I was wrong. This isn't amazing but it's AMAZING! And I think you could go really fast as a writer Xxx Abi
Only on Chapter one, utterly speechless, can so see this as a movie already. I can envision every you write about so clearly once again. Kid kills mom with a spoon, It's got that must have town legend. Love it <3
This chapter was sort of funny with the introduction of the 'Wanna bes' At the beginning you can see there is a sort of a wonder and curiousity that is later met up with tension towards the ending. This will be my last comment for tonight and I will subscribe and continue reading and reviewing tomorrow. :)
Finally got the comment box to work. And now the second chapter. :) I like this chapter because it is kind of like the character build up on the characters. Now some of their past is revealed and we possibly could get an idea that some of them might go looking for that school. It kind of reminds me of this abandon park that is two towns next to me that is illegal to tresspass and has been known for cults and other incidents. On to the third one
Firstly, the layout scares the crap out of me, so I think I'm going to like this. Haha!
The idea itself is pretty awesome. You've obviously put a lot of thought into the whole myth/story behind it, and it's really obvious when you write. The whole thing with all of the survivors wearing gas-masks is reminding me of a Dr Who episode that freaked me out majorly, so I've already got goosebumps! Bram is cocky though, I don't like him at all at the beginning. I really want to see them go into the school, just to see what happens. It's moving slowly so far, but I have a feeling that it's going to snowball pretty soon.
The only thing I did notice whilst reading is that there seems to be more than a few typos/spelling errors when I'm reading. In the first chapter, I noticed ment instead of meant, on instead of of and was instead of were. There was also a minor grammar error in the second paragraph, where you've written called, John. The comma shouldn't be there. After that, I wasn't really paying much attention to grammar. I got too engrossed into the storyline I'd have a quick re-read through your chapters to see what else you can find, because sometimes typos can be really off-putting. Aside from that, you're doing a really good job, and you've got an awesome storyline here! I'll be subscribing to see what happens next :)