His Name is Love - Comments

I am so sorry this took so long for me to comment on, but this is for the Prewrites Contest.

Gorgeous piece. That is pretty much all I need to say. Everything written is on a need to know basis and you give your MCs so much character with so few words. You use little things like ‘laughs bitterly like there’s a story to it’ and it just works so well.

The writing is loose and easy to read; it flows really well and at times I can read it like poetry which just makes it sound more beautiful. There are too many lines in this piece which stand out for me to pick a favourite but I love your style of writing so again, thank you for writing this gorgeous piece :)

I really like the way this is written in mostly short, straightforward sentences. There's a real beauty to its simplicity. I love the lack of extraneous description or background information and how you just focused on their actions. It made the story really powerful in my opinion.

The last line was just amazing. I like how honest and real this piece feels. It has such an unapologetic vibe that just makes it wonderful to read. The way you describe the feelings and motions of a one night stand is truly brilliant.

pressing indents hardhard into his skin

There's just an extra hard in this sentence I noticed.

Your writing style is fantastic. There's really not much I can do but gush over how stunning this story is. It just all flows naturally together and I like that it's a slash as well. It's probably one of the best slashes I've read on Mibba.

So beautifully expressed.

I loved it.

love the layout of this page; ELIJAH is a total freaky boy

Upate Please!!

They met that night, but hours become days when you’re pressed against a willing body.
What is that. It's so perfect.

Elijah, like the Bible, he says, and he laughs bitterly like there’s a story to it.

That's so fantastic. How'd you even

But Cole learned not to ask the difficult questions a long time ago.

Oh my god that's PERFECTION.

The night air doesn’t sober him like it should but Elijah grabs his hand and it almost grounds him.

ELIJAH YOU ARE PERFECT.

“Mine,” Cole mumbles against his cheek, and it’s easy because he means it.

BECAUSE HE MEANS IT WHAT IS THAT I'M SO FINISHED.

He counts to fifty before he lets go (and he doesn’t know why. He's never known why.)

Quoting so out of order but you've put me in a frenzy.

When he wraps his arms around himself, Elijah pulls him closer.

COLE LET ELIJAH LOVE YOU

He regrets that last vodka.

He regrets letting go of Elijah’s hand.

That's a beautiful comparison COLE WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY

He chokes down on bile and the words he can’t say.

Oh bb.

It’s nice and Elijah promises things with his hands on Cole’s thighs and his breath in his ear, things like home and fuck and don’t stop.

The implied promises of secks is wonderful perfect amazing

Elijah fucks Cole like he wants to be loved.

Cole has never felt so fragile in his life.

Oh BB'S. BB'S love each other.

Cole doesn’t ask what about. He doesn’t care to know.

Lord you're so imperfect I love you.

“Do it with me,” Elijah finally asks. Cole whispers, “Always.”
MY GOD YOU LOVES JUST LET ME HOLD YOU

Cole wakes up alone.
I'm dead now. I'd like lilacs at my funeral and please make sure they put it on my tombstone that I died via crushing by a MOUNTAIN OF FEELS.

Awww! This is adorable and sad. :( Well written! Good job, Fandango! :D