Covet - Comments

I do hope Hailey tries to help Tommy, even though it is none of her buisness. That would make Tommy feel less alone and that he does have someone else who cares for him... This was an opening chapter to greater opportunities if that makes sense (: haha

I really like Hailey. I think she's developing nicely, especially around Paddy and Tommy.

You write this really well, I think you're a natural ;) No but really, I like how the relationships are developing. It's awesome to see how Paddy and Tommy are still cautious and weird about each other but neither know because it all goes through Hailey. Aaaaaand, I think you pinpoint Tommy's personality perfectly. Like this one time, my friend was playing darts in his basement and he shot one dart with another dart and (there's a point, I promise) we all cheered drunkenly with excitement because it was awesome. You're my dart throwing friend okay? You write Tommy so perfectly that it is Tommy and we're all just sitting here like, "can I get some of that?"

Bad metaphors aside, I almost died when he invited Hailey to the bar. Now that's some improvement, I'd say. I don't know how she composes herself around him. I'd drop dead.

Also, I like how you always make him so prickly and abrasive after Paddy is brought up. It really shows off that he's multi-faceted and not so gross all the time. Anyway, all-in-all this is coming out so well! I really, really love it.

I really like Hailey. I think she's developing nicely, especially around Paddy and Tommy.

You write this really well, I think you're a natural ;) No but really, I like how the relationships are developing. It's awesome to see how Paddy and Tommy are still cautious and weird about each other but neither know because it all goes through Hailey. Aaaaaand, I think you pinpoint Tommy's personality perfectly. Like this one time, my friend was playing darts in his basement and he shot one dart with another dart and (there's a point, I promise) we all cheered drunkenly with excitement because it was awesome. You're my dart throwing friend okay? You write Tommy so perfectly that it is Tommy and we're all just sitting here like, "can I get some of that?"

Bad metaphors aside, I almost died when he invited Hailey to the bar. Now that's some improvement, I'd say. I don't know how she composes herself around him. I'd drop dead.

Also, I like how you always make him so prickly and abrasive after Paddy is brought up. It really shows off that he's multi-faceted and not so gross all the time. Anyway, all-in-all this is coming out so well! I really, really love it.

Firstly, I really have to say again how much I adore Hailey and I find her so relatable and realistic! And Tommy... I feel for the guy SO much, and I think he's being this way with her because he really likes her; whether he knows that or not yet is unclear. I LOVE your writing. It's really incredible and each update exceeds expectations by far :~)
OH, and I like how quickly this was updated (hint)

This was an awesome update, and I'm really excited to see where this goes. The chemistry between the two is fantastic, and Tommy is really surprising in this one when asking about his dad. Can not wait for the next update :)

This is really interesting And I honestly can't wait to read more :) Please update as often as possible <3

Favorite update so far!! I absolutely love how Hailey and Tommy interact; from his suggestion in the first place, to how they are at the bar, and to how sweet and verging on vulnerable he is at her apartment. This has made me very excited for the next chapters! Excellent development as well as written so very well. Keep it up :')

The update made me quite happy xD I know it's early on, but I really like this story and am very excited for where it is going to go. It has so much potential, and I can't help but love how you write the characters. Gah.
Great work!

I am really enjoying this story, and I can't wait for an update. It is so well written, keep up the great work!

LOVE it!
I think this newest update has made Hailey, and the whole situation, much more realistic than even before. It's interesting to me how Tommy seemed to be warming up to her, only to immediately go back once she mentioned Paddy. Again, you're staying away from the typical love-at-first-sight-type story. The bit of playfulness and challenge Tommy offers up is so great, especially how she reacts to it all. I think the way she thinks before speaking and censors herself is what makes her a relatable character.
Well written, and the character development has me excited for the next update!
Wonderful, keep it goin' :-)) xx

Aww who was the band?? I know Alexisonfire just broke up and I was devastated :(. But i really enjoyed this chapter. So many of these fics have Tommy portrayed as a jerk for a second then he's mad in love with whatever girl. This awkwardness was refreshing and i liked the end of the 3rd chapter. Made meh smile. Keep up the good work!

I love this! Tommy is perfect, I appreciate how he didn't all of a sudden fall under the 'love-struck' spell and turn soft. The awkwardness makes it realistic and entertaining! Also, I liked how you talked about how she felt very intimidated by him. Who wouldn't be? It seems like in a lot of other Tommy stories, the girls are firecrackers who aren't scared of anything. Keep up the good work!! (:

This is AMAZING! I can not wait for an update! I am loving this story so much :)

This comment is like 80 years late, oops :x

Okay but yeah, I think you definitely wrote the meeting realistically. Hailey would obviously be intimidated by Tommy. Shit, I would be too (and love struck, definitely). It's a little much for Brendan to ask her to get them on speaking grounds though. I mean, those feelings are so deep and the tension damn, it would take a miracle worker.

Tommy is also exactly like I thought he'd be, which is a good thing. I hate fics where he's suddenly found God and has to be the one to save someone. Tommy is so broken that there's no way he could just be better magically. Besides, I love him just the way he is! And I love how he has the nerve to be rude to her. She is just trying to help and he just met her. You nailed it right on the head. It makes me really excited now that he's back though! Totally stoked on this story.

Keep it up, this definitely has potential! AND UPDATE SOON!!!

I'm seriously freaking out over this!

The layout is awesome, I like how you changed it and the prologue has me so excited for Tommy to be introduced. It's a good length for a prologue too and, as always, well written! I'm so excited for this story to happen especially since she helps their father so it should be somewhat difficult for Tommy to stomach that, considering he hates the guy. Ooh boy am I excited though.