The Legacy of the Mountain - Comments

This is a truly brilliantly written story. You've got a lot of talent :)
This is about 50 times more well written than the vast majority of fan fictions that I've read.
I can't wait for more ^^

@ ShapelessThings

I cannot thank you enough for not only leaving a review, but giving me some areas for improvement.
I really do appreciate you taking the time out to go through it and leave a detailed comment.
Actual feedback > normal comments.
Shall go through it some time tomorrow and edit it once more~

Anyway, thank you so much~^^

I love how descriptive your writing is! Also, I like how the story begins in Erebor before Smaug attacked. I haven't read a Hobbit fanfic that started there before.

Just some Con-crit (that you can ignore if you want):
1. In the fourth paragraph of the first chapter, I think either you can omit the part in parentheses or make it a separate sentence. I get that you want to go into detail about how Erebor is like a labyrinth, but I think you could make the sentence more concise.
2. You use the word 'milky' to describe Esrendal's skin a lot. Perhaps you could find a different adjective to use?

Anyway, I really like the story so far and I'm interested in finding out more about Esrendal!=D