July 3rd, 2013 at 10:15pm
Chapter 9
OMG, her mother pisses me off so bad, I mean Jimmy told her of the tourter she went through the day before and yet here she is using Jimmy against Iris when she knows the kids at the shcool are harmful to her child...
I feel so bad for Iris having to hid behind the school like that because the kids wont leave her alone, and are talking about cornering her just because she know's 'the rev' I like how though she seems to already be comparing her parents to Jimmy.
In fact, as I laid in bed and stared at my ceiling in the middle of the night,
the time jump there was a bit confusing for a sec she went from hiding behind her school to laying in her bed I mean it could just be me but this suprised me how quick you jumbed to her being home ..
And now we're back to her being in school maybe I'm just not reading whats going on but the way you time skipped or maybe she was day dreaming either way that had me a bit confused for a momement ..
I like how the people online see to just be like screw off leave her alone and let her come out when she's ready I think that is a good interpretation of how a lot of us fans are like when we see things ...
Wow I cant believe she thinks he'd actually look down on her or that he had a maid..
I love seeing how Iris's thoughts are nothing like what her mother really is thinking or has going on in her head, like how she thinks her parents don't want her to go when in fact her mother does what her to go and be happy...
I swear if chapter 10 doesn't tell me what the two 'adults' said to each other I'm going to be very upset just so you're aware I really want to know what was said sense Iris seems so worried and they seem so calm.
Last thing chapter 9 was no where near short I think you've done gone insane on me but I really like it I like how you showed other people in the story and I love how much Trevor cares for Iris.
Alright so fare I like where this one is going I'm just to the point of her going in the house and I love how she was complaining about maybe having to play the violen but treating it with such care it just shows a side fo her I really like.
I already love the fact she reconized them from COD, that is great I cant wait till the guys place two and two togather about Trevor :D I also like how Zacky was picking on Jimmy and Matt had to cover it up but how could she be shy of his dimpled smile?
I love the way her and Short Shit seem to be bonding so quickly specially over the guys being ass-hats to him, this story makes me smile, you best keep it that way you understand?
I get why Iris is so shy and stuff but as their in the car I'm wondering though why she seemed so distand after the little making fun of joking the did in the car.
I love how she was so worried about telling Jimmy of her problem but he seemed to be so cool about it, and the guys so far seem to just really be nice and awesome to her.
I love the direction in which this story is going and with the way you have everyone behaving, seriously I think you might be my fave author for Avenged, I read a lot of stories where people make them jack-tards or ya know overly nice or overly affectionat and you just make them seem real and relatable.
I love how Iris is warming up and cracking jokes at short Shit, that Deaf joke was gold I laughed out loud with that one :D I just loved the way you ended this chapter, as for needing proof read unless you've went back and done it other then one & symbole it looked fine to me