Thief of Kisses - Comments

Not your usual story, but I like it nether the less. Look forward to more of this one (=

Cool so far, I find the forbidden relationship titillating and look for ward to that part of the story. subscribed!

Comment Swap
The summary was a bit too short for my liking but it still draws you in as a reader which is great. The layout was the first thig that caught my eye and I really liked it. You title is also intriguing and mysterious. I did see a few areas where the grammar is a bit off but it can easily be fixed and didn't cause a lot of trouble when reading. I also didn't really like the bold text for emphasis. But other than that it is a great story that could go far :)

I found the beginning to be interested, makes me wonder in which direction the story will head. There are some grammatical error, the main ones being absence of commas. There are also a few sentence structure errors, that when fixed will allow the story to be read smoother. Other than that I think you have a great start for your story~ keep it up ^^

The title caught my eye immediately. I was intrigued right away. I really like the banner and your layout, because it's simple, making it easy to read. I find it difficult when writers use bold, bossy layouts - it draws away from the overall story. Now, on to the writing itself. Your prologue was interesting, especially the random bold letters. Upon reading the first chapter, I was also drawn in. It's a good read! :) I like the way you display your characters and your narrator's voice. I wish she had a little bit more feeling in her words, though, but that's honestly my only complaint! You've got something pretty good here! :)

The title caught my eye immediately. I was intrigued right away. I really like the banner and your layout, because it's simple, making it easy to read. I find it difficult when writers use bold, bossy layouts - it draws away from the overall story. Now, on to the writing itself. Your prologue was interesting, especially the random bold letters. Upon reading the first chapter, I was also drawn in. It's a good read! :) I like the way you display your characters and your narrator's voice. I wish she had a little bit more feeling in her words, though, but that's honestly my only complaint! You've got something pretty good here! :)

I thought prologue was really interesting. It was informative, and definitely gave a good intro to the character. One thing that kind of three me off was how often you bolded or italicized things. It makes the ideas connected to them seem less important because other things are emphasized that way really often throughout. Any way, I think you have a good foundation!

this is for comment swap!

First off, I really liked your summary. I thought it was intriguing and I definitely want to read the prologue now.

Now, on to the prologue itself. The first thing I notice is that there isn't any commas or semi colons or any of the like. I think that maybe you should revise this first chapter and add some. Not only do they create a pause, but it's correct form and that's one of Mibba's rules. Another thing I noticed was that there were some words that seemed out of sort. Again, when or if you revise this, I would look for those and try looking up some different ones to use. A thesaurus is a great tool for replacing words, by the way.

But the content itself is very interesting. The place where this story is taking place is very interesting, at least for me, anyway. This girls' family is intriguing, too. But just be careful in making her life seem so terrible. Sometimes that can become a bit tedious to read.

Overall, this was a good read! :)

Comment Swap
I really enjoyed the prologue mainly because many people could actually relate to this. The banner is a little big, but I absolutely love it. It's color scheme, the way the picture blends. As far as your writing goes, there were a few mistakes that a quick proofread can fix, but aside that, I think you're off to a good start. As for keeping a reader engaged, maybe try adding more detail? To me, this could have had more of the main character's feelings embedded into it. Aside that, keep up the good work!

I don't agree with the comments below, not at all. I found the summary really interesting. It was obvious the character who said those words loved the other deeply and the receiver had closed his heart off because of feeling afraid to open up and love. The prologue was nicely written with no grammar or spelling errors and I find the fact that you combined a little background as well as her thoughts and feelings so beautifully amazing. The characters page seemed interesting and I liked the girl. ;) The layout and the banner are awesome too. Keep updating this because I adore your work and respect your abilities as a writer. :)

I don't agree with the comments below, not at all. I found the summary really interesting. It was obvious the character who said those words loved the other deeply and the receiver had closed his heart off because of feeling afraid to open up and love. The prologue was nicely written with no grammar or spelling errors and I find the fact that you combined a little background as well as her thoughts and feelings so beautifully amazing. The characters page seemed interesting and I liked the girl. ;) The layout and the banner are awesome too. Keep updating this because I adore your work and respect your abilities as a writer. :)

I agree with the comment below that there perhaps could be more or a hook in this first chapter, something to really leave the reader either curious or on the edge of their seat begging for the next installment. First chapters are hard to write though and we are only judging you on that so it may be a biased opinion. I will keep an eye on the story and give you a more honest opinion once more has been posted. However I do think you have some talent for sure. Keep it up!

This was an interesting first chapter. To be honest, it didn't really engage me as a reader like it should. I think you have potential as a writer, but the first line of this chapter had me wondering, why do I care? It hadn't presented the conflict of the story, and didn't make me want to read more. This would be an unnecessary chapter since its full of detail that should be spread out between the story. The first chapter should have a point, and its ulterior motive should be to engage the readers, hooking them right from the beginning.

Absolutely amazing. It was filled with emotions and I enjoyed that to the fullest. Keep it up girl <3

Absolutely amazing. It was filled with emotions and I enjoyed that to the fullest. Keep it up girl <3

I liked the prologue. I think you have very nice insight into the character and how she really feels about everything. I like when authors let us get deep inside of a character's head. it really improves the story. Although, I don't understand why some individual words are in bold, I'll just say that it probably was unneeded but l overall I do like it so far. You may what to rethink having words in bold though, haha. :) and I absolutely love the banner :) Looking forward to more of this story! I also really hope to hear more from this soon. This story has a great story line and it'll be really interesting to see where you take it!

Well written first chapter. Look forward to reading more

cant wait to see what happens