Bride to Be - Comments

  • God's_Child22

    God's_Child22 (100)

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    thats a man
    April 30th, 2013 at 05:15am
  • malorienewton

    malorienewton (100)

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    @ aaron hotchner
    Well good! I'm glad! :)
    April 29th, 2013 at 11:08pm
  • aaron hotchner

    aaron hotchner (100)

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    I love this story!
    April 29th, 2013 at 10:30pm
  • discoveringclouds

    discoveringclouds (200)

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    Well there's nothing wrong with adding depth in the beginning. Anyways that sounds good.
    March 24th, 2013 at 11:39am
  • malorienewton

    malorienewton (100)

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    She loves her store and her customers, she's just tired with her life. As the story progresses, it'll explain how she's feeling more.

    I wanted everyone to know what the story was about. It doesn't necessarily give it away but, I wanted to catch people's eyes.

    Don't worry. I will! :)

    @ discoveringclouds
    March 24th, 2013 at 05:28am
  • discoveringclouds

    discoveringclouds (200)

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    Interesting story. Although the emotion is unclear.. Of weather she loves her store and customers. You know? She should be more clear because she's a sole proprietor and worked really hard.

    The summary gives a lot of your story away haha but I guess it's why I pressed it.

    You should definetly add more setting as she sees it so it adds to the atmosphere.
    March 24th, 2013 at 05:09am