Dreams - Comments

@ DreamerHarlotSinner

Thank you so much, that just made my day!

*Your comment swap blog thingy*

Your summary is brilliant and instantly pulled me in, and I can tell that you've put a lot of work into this story. Your plot seems wonderfully thought-out and quite different to a lot of other futuristic stories I've read, so well done for originality!

Upon reading the first chapter, I realised just how beautiful your writing style is. The vocabulary you use and the images you portray are devine! Your descriptions are a joy to read.

I've only read the first 3 chapters but I can tell this story holds a lot of promise! And I think I may just hit that subscribe button right...now.

This story is so good!! I love the characters and cant wait to see what happens next!

Oh wow, this is fairly unique!

It reminds me a bit of The Hunger Games in a way, I love the meaning behind the story and just the way you write and describe everything.

A+

@ Diligence

Thank you!!! Wish I could take credit for the amazing layout, but it was all a mimosa pudica!!!

To start, I really love the layout. I like how the border around the content section really pops, that's just cool of you to do and the banner. Gosh the banner is crazy xD I'm not ever sure, I just love the look of it. I admire this layout a lot.

This story was incredibly interesting. I know while reading through this I saw some mistakes but honestly they were small and didn't take away from the ease of reading this story. I love how you made your own kind of world and expanded on it. It was well thought out and really got me into the story. It's pretty cool c:

@ midnight sunshine x
Awh well yay I'm glad!
Oh I'm hopeless at them too! Lol

@ Artist Vs. Poet

Thank you soooo much for the comments! Actually made my day!!! :-) Wish I could take credit for the amazing layout, but the credit goes to a mimosa pudica , I'm hopeless at layouts!!!

Okay, just finished! And I have to say the last half was just as good as the first!
I love how Kadence and Cole are involved now, and I can't wait to see how it all develops out! Good job, again! Can't wait for an update so I can read more!

I’m so glad you wanted to comment swap with me! I LOVE this. Right away, it reminded me of one of my favorite book series. (Life as We Knew It, This World We Live In, and The Dead and the Gone). I’m a big fan of science fiction and this is exactly the kind I enjoy reading.

The layout is like, perfect! Beautiful! I can’t say enough about how perfect it is! I can’t even think of another word besides perfect!

Your summary caught my attention and when I seen the different perspectives in the chapters I was like, “score!”. It adds dynamic to the story and it’s something I personally love it.

AH! Kadence is a Cleanser and Cole’s dad’s a rebel?! This is going to be great!

Holy crap on Cole killing Angel! Wasn’t expecting that! That means anyone could be a cleanser! :O

I love in chapter three the character development of Quest. And what a cool name! I really get a sense of his persona through his mother’s dialogue with Cole.

In the first chapters, I couldn’t imagine the Cleansers as anything but these evil, soulless creatures. But chapter 5 really shows readers an inside look into them. I love how Kadence has a love interest. It adds a great dynamic that The Cleansers have the ability to feel! And Cayden! What’s up with him? I’m intrigued!

I love this story! The whole plot and idea is amazing! If I had seen this story in stores, I’d buy it! I’m subscribing for sure! Your writing style is great, and the characters are so relatable! Everything flows well and I love the pacing of things.

I’m not all the way through yet, but wanted to go ahead and send you a comment! I’ll be commenting more as I read on! (:

I've gone through the first four chapter so far and I have to say that I'm so curious to see what happens next. Up to this point, we've mostly seen what has been going on with Cole, but now we're getting a look at Kadence. I'm looking forward to seeing how they encounter each other and sort things out!

@ megurine luka

Thank you! I usually write on Word then copy and paste it, so that's probably why the formatting is a bit strange! Thank you! I will try and go back and fix those mistakes xxx

Hey! I'm sorry I took so long to comment on your story!

I'm just going to point out the mistakes I saw in the chapters and list them down. And then I'm going to say what I think about your story at the end.

Summary
The summary was pretty good and I think it gave somebackground on the story although it would have been better if you didn't use the las question. I'm not saying that you should never use it butyou should avoid it since the readers generally knows that the answer is yes before they read the chapters.

Like I said, your summary was very good and it's better and has more depth than summaries like 'I suck at this. Please read my story.' No, just no.

First Chapter
The first chapter is very good. The first sentence should have a semicolon instead of a comma, I think. The first two sentences of the second paragraph should be either attached to the first paragraph or become a separate one. Kt doesn't fit with the second paragraph.

"The human mind is labyrinth, a dangerous labyrinth where only evil and despair dwells. It is likea computer system designed to destroy, built to near perfection to create the ultimate evil being."

That’s the first thing you learn in training, humans aren’t like us.
Isn't it better if it was 'The first thing you learn in training is that humans aren't like us'?

Also, the last sentence could be separated from the paragraph. It's a bold statement so it's better if it was separated from the rest.

Second until the Ninth Chapter
The only problem I saw was the formatting. Mibba rules state that correct formatting is required and there should be a blank space between paragraphs.

The idea and theme of the story is splendid. You just have to watch out for those little grammatical mistakes like correct punctuation marks. You also make sentences with too may independent clauses in them. But don't worry 'bout that. Everyone makes mistakes too. You can consult a beta reader or you can ask someone to be your editor.

Overall, it's pretty good. I like this story and I think it has potential.

This story has started out on a brilliant note! I love stories like this, they remind me of Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Host. Science Fiction in general, I suppose.

Cole is just too sweet for words, it's a shame that his father doesn't see his potential. The fact that he had the nerve to drag a complete stranger home, to safety, says a helluva lot about him! I can't wait to see where this goes and what kind of person Kadence will grow into without her former memories.

@ midnight sunshine x
I do, but I'm not the best. Message her and she'll make you an awesome layout. I know from experience. (She made this and this for me )

@ January Rose

About layouts, do you know how you make them? I have tried and I really don't get it! I will definitely make a character tab, I never though of that! Thank you!

The last chapter was a little confusing, but I figured it out pretty fast.

But one thing that would really add to this story is a layout and a character tab.

@ January Rose

Wow! Thank you so much!

Just starting chapter 5 and I have to say, this is really good.

The plot is original and draws readers in. Even from the summary I knew I wanted to read more.

neehh! xxx