The Fox and the Flower - Comments

Hiiiii!!!!
So I've never read an Outsiders fic before and I'm not,entirely sure what it is or what it's about, but I got this from comment swap so I'm gonna try to leave something constructive for you (:

Okay, umm, I think this has a lot of potential to go somewhere AMAZING and you're really onto something.

However, I also think that in order to accomplish that, you should consider looking into a beta and maybe look through Tumblr for some advice and tips to do what you're trying to do.

Also, please feel free to check through my blog. It's a writing blog! You can look under http://www.chasingafterinfinity.tumblr.com/tagged/writing+help for various activites that'll help you further develop Charlotte as a character and provide tips to hellp with your plotline ((:

Best of luck and I hope you have a great day! (:

Hiiiii!!!!
So I've never read an Outsiders fic before and I'm not,entirely sure what it is or what it's about, but I got this from comment swap so I'm gonna try to leave something constructive for you (:

Okay, umm, I think this has a lot of potential to go somewhere AMAZING and you're really onto something.

However, I also think that in order to accomplish that, you should consider looking into a beta and maybe look through Tumblr for some advice and tips to do what you're trying to do.

Also, please feel free to check through my blog. It's a writing blog! You can look under http://www.chasingafterinfinity.tumblr.com/tagged/writing+help for various activites that'll help you further develop Charlotte as a character and provide tips to hellp with your plotline ((:

Best of luck and I hope you have a great day! (:

Got this for comment swap!

What can I say besides that it's... not great? Charlotte needs a lot more character development, and the initial run-in with the Socs feels shoehorned in. It reads like a rough draft, and I would suggest a lot of proofreading. The grammar isn't too hot, either, and "tired" and "tiered" aren't the same words.

You have a promising start here. Her initial encounter with her aunt and uncle and the description of the plane ride were both very well-handled, and I think that Charlotte could be good if she was developed well.

So cute!!!

I love this. I love this plot. I love this OC. I love you.
... And I love Ponyboy.
(:

...Oh the feels that you can create. I love this, and it looks like I'm not the only one.

I like how you described the color of his eyes as "quiet". That description suits his character.

awww. i feel so sorry for charlotte. :[
but, it was a wonderful chapter. :D
update soon ? xx

This is so cute ahhhhomgsobsob

Comment swap
I like your book it great and so good keep it up!

@Harley91594
Not at all! I actually really appreciate it ^^

Her aunt handled that nicely, she didn't beat around the bush at all.
I say adding music links is your choice. I personally would like if you did because I am a music freak and I'll give anything a chance. Also, I hope I'm not being annoying with my comments but I am commenting because I like this story a lot!

I'm scared of what Charlotte's aunt may be thinking right now, this is super interesting.

COMMENT SWAP!!
Your story i awsomely awsome i love it i felt like it was a great book!

I like Charlotte, she is sassy!

I think your story is very good so far! The one thing I noticed though is that some of your paragraphs were extremely long. It's one of those things where it makes you not want to read the paragraph just because it seems so intimidating and you feel like you're never gonna get it done. I would try to break up some of the bigger paragraphs if you can find a good place to break them up at! Other that that, I think this is really good so far!

I got here from the comment swap! First of all, the summary is immediately intriguing to me; I loved it! I also really like the layout. The story overall is awesome too, and I hope you keep going with this. It's got a lot of potential!

Comment swap!
I like the first chapter, it's a good introduction to the story. I got a pretty good feel for the character and it grabbed my attention. Overall, it's a good start and I'm going to continue reading it(:
Also, I love the layout. Well done!

Comment swap!
I like the beginning, it's more of an introduction than a real chapter, which is nice. Although there is a lack of context when referring to 'the accident' and it's just kind of thrown at you and you're like 'whaaaa'. I did in fact notice that this is an outsiders fic, which is sweet! I haven't seen any before actually. The whole scene with the plane seems a little over dramatic though, almost unrealistic to me.

Comment swap!
I get the idea you were going for with the layout, but I have to agree with the others. The purple doesn't mix well with it for me. I really like your description, you nailed the plane ride scene. I also enjoyed that the first chapter wasn't killed with too much dialogue and I wasn't painfully thrown into a scene. I think you're headed in the right direction.
The ending of the chapter made me die! Haha!