Love Like A Tidal Wave - Comments

I enjoyed your story. I liked that neither of your characters you use to tell the story are actually in the band. I like that the two points of view are from two different girls, though really I guess that could also be confusing since it's really telling two different stories, haha, but I'm guessing they'll probably merge at some point. I found that some things were a bit abrupt... I'm not quite sure how to describe it. Just the feeling of being rushed, I guess, as I read it. Overall though, I really liked the story line and was intrigued by Austin's mysterious scar and sad eyes haha :)

I enjoyed your story. I liked that neither of your characters you use to tell the story are actually in the band. I like that the two points of view are from two different girls, though really I guess that could also be confusing since it's really telling two different stories, haha, but I'm guessing they'll probably merge at some point. I found that some things were a bit abrupt... I'm not quite sure how to describe it. Just the feeling of being rushed, I guess, as I read it. Overall though, I really liked the story line and was intrigued by Austin's mysterious scar and sad eyes haha :)

I love this and I'm already hooked. I'm so glad you mentioned this story to me, I would have subscribed whether you won my contest or not =] this story is so sexy, and I actually love Kat. Girl knows exactly how it's done

I normally don't read too many fanfics because they turn out to be bad. Once in a while I happen upon a good one and yayy yours is good! 2nd chapter sort of drifts in and out of past and present tense so just edit that. I don't like Kat.. Maybe it's because I read Charlie's pov first and I knew Mike had a girlfriend... Is it bad that after I met Austin I want Mike to break Kat's heart?? Tony is adorbs!! Okay I'm done now :)

I came here because of your blog. I normally don't comment on layouts, but I loooove the gif as well. Sorry if you've heard that 652320 times (not really sorry because what do you expect???). But I really liked this. It was easy to read, and by easy I mean interesting and fast. I didn't get bored reading details or descriptions, and the dialogue is good too. And every visible part of him is tattooed? <3 IS THE REST OF HIM??

Oh what a cute gif!! I love the layout!
I love the opening line! I'm not a listener of this band but I don't have to be to love this story! Everything flows well and the characterizations are great. Especially Charlie! Good job overall! :)

The layout is great. The colors and even the graphics fit together so well. Its just a gorgeous layout.

I love the way you started this story. It was very cool to read a story that started with the main character doing her job instead of just explaining that she knew and worked for the band. I also love how Charlie is a tech instead or working on merch like I've seen in so many other bandfics. I also love how you transitioned from the show to after the show and what happens after the show. I love how after the show that not every character in the story goes out for a wild party like I've seen happen in a lot of other bandfics.

I really love the simplicity of their friendship. Nothing feels forced and it feels natural when they talk to each other. I really love the exchange after the get caught on the luggage cart because it made me chuckle. I really loved the way you described the butterflies in Charlie's stomach and that she zoned out because it felt really real and as someone who often zones out I can relate. I also loved the bit about the suitcase.

The only mistake that caught my eye was a minor one. After the sentence about the infamous nickname there in an I that is lowercase. Other than that I didn't see any errors.

The flow is really good. Nothing really feels forced or rushed through. The pace of the chapter is also really good because it doesn't move too fast but it doesn't move too slow either. I like that you used description but didn't bog the chapter down with too much description that it detracted from what was happening in the chapter.

As some who isn't a Pierce The Veil fan I didn't have too hard of a time following along. I'm guessing that the nickname Turtle is something that a fan of the band knows about that that doesn't take away from the story if you aren't a fan. I know that in fanfic most of your audience is a part of that fandom so there is no point in explaining things like that. I think you have a great balance between making it understandable to non-fans without bogging it down with explanations and description that is unnecessary for people in the fandom.

Overall this is a great start for this story. The writing is great and the characters are already likable. It is really, really enjoyable to read!

Here from your comment swapping blog.
Firstly your layout is gorgeous. It's very easy to read as well, which is a plus. Your a good writer, from what I can tell, but this needs some tweaking. I think there are places where you need more descriptions, and places where you need less. When you said ''with my small hands'' I cringed inside. That line was so awkward.

''then cued four of my best friends to jump onto the humongous stage'' this didn't flow very well. I think you should add [b''for''/b] four of my best friends...

But in saying that, the opening paragraph is wonderful, I can't wait for more. Good job so far!

Comment Swap:
As PoeticMess. stated, the opening line is a beautiful description, but it is a little misleading to the reader. Maybe say something about the the music of the drums flowing into the air like water?

Something that disappointed me about this was you start off with a nice description and then from there, the description gets a little blah. There is a lot more action and dialogue than description, which makes the story difficult to read. Show, not tell. Keep that in mind while writing and you will pull your reader in even more.

Your grammar is pretty spotless. I didn't see any mistakes, which is really good! I applaud you on that. I also applaud you on having a good story, despite all of what I said. It just needs a little tweaking and you will be golden. Good job, and good luck. I wish you the best with this story!

More indepth Story Review.

In the first chapter, the very first thing that made me stop and reread was the first line. Drum sticks flowed through my hands like water . . . I'm confused by this because this immediately makes me think of someone reaching for something and their hand goes right through it (such as a ghost or someone with a new superpower), as I keep reading, I realize that the drums are actually being played. I would suggest rewording the opening line just so it makes more sense. You could talk about the smoothness of the wooden drum stick, the glossy feel of the polish that has been put on it, the rough spots on the end of the stick from where it repeatedly hits the head of the drum, but I don't think "flows like water through my hand" is a good metaphor for playing the drums.

After reading the chapter, I noticed that you have really great grammar, which is awesome, because explain grammar to people is difficult and confusing for us both. :)

One thing that I would like to see more of though, is description. You definitely describe things (boring hallway, bland doors) What I mean is that, I think the story would have more "unnph" to it if you elaborated more on that and on their actions.

You wrote: Tony warned as he situated his green snapback correctly on his head. To give it a little something more, you could add her reaction to that, whether she glared at him playfully and shoved his shoulder before she replied, "That's the whole fun of it, Turtle!"

Playing off of that, I'm a fan of Pierce the Veil but I don't know much about them, seeing as they're not one of my favorites, so maybe you could explain the nickname, too? It would definitely bring more depth into the story and clear up any confusion that anyone has!

First thing I had to notice was the gif. Unf, it's so nice. I like how fluid it is and I like how it's also just drawings of people. It's different than the regular gifs that are actually, you know, real so I like it. I like different things.

Drum sticks flowed through my hands like water, gosh that's a beautiful way to open up a story.

This was pretty adorable I think. I really like Charlie's characterization, though I think some of the things that were written were kind of conflicting. You wrote that she was tired in the beginning on the chapter and then later on in the chapter she didn't really seem so tired.
I do think that the descriptions were very well done, and there was a nice flow in this chapter. c:

I don't know much about this band, which is probably because I don't listen to many bands but I was happy that I didn't need to know a lot to understand what was happening. c: It was good.