March 12th, 2015 at 09:47pm
Comment Swap
I must honestly say that I have a vague idea of what's going on but couldn't really follow it... My adhd makes it hard enough to read the stories I'm interested in and this was just... weird? I don't know I had to skip and then tried to go back and it was just confusing to me
I think you have an idea on what you want to try to get across to the readers, but honestly I am have a hard time trying to get a firm grasp on what is supposed to be going on. You are skipping around and that is pretty confusing to me because she loves him and then she doesn't. The words you use are pretty accurate to the way you are using them in your writing. You writing is short but I can tell you are trying to get your idea of the story across. Keep up the good work and I hope you continue writing.