Left Without Flesh - Comments

I like the colors of this layout, and the border you have around the whole story section. I think it looks nice. One thing though, I had to squint a lot to read the words, it's a very bright gray and could easily blend with the white background, if you could change that, it would make reading so much easier.

Oh gosh, if this was posted just as a one-shot it would be great too. This story or chapter of a story made me really, really want to read it. I love how realistic you made the characters and how they weren't perfect people, though I know that's been said before. They were also completely unique of each other and I liked that.

I love how you ended the chapter, I really want to know about this couple and how they end up. It's so interesting and a great start.

I like how real this entire story is. Your characters have flaws and their relationship is terribly messed up and there's not happily-ever-after with the prince and princess type deal.

You made me feel for them, too. Their emotions were very apparent because of the way you wrote their story and that was really nice to see.

Your description was really nice as well. I liked how you described Rosanna and showed how she wasn't this gorgeous amazing person but yet Ben still loved her and still tried so hard to be with her.

The only thing that I wasn't a fan of was the color of the font. It was almost the same color as the backround which made it really hard to read. The rest of the layout was lovely though.

Good job!

This is really interesting. Usually stories that I read have the guy cheating and the girl being the one that's being messed around, so it really is nice to read something where the tables are turned and we see the guy as the victim instead. I think it brings a comletely different element to the story.

I feel sorry for Ben, I really do. He seems like he's trying really hard to make things work with Rosanna but she doesn't want to know. The fact that he still clings to her after what she said to him is pretty strange, actually. Again, you've reversed the roles by having Ben be the one pining after Rosanna, rather than the other way. Both Ben and Rosanna seem to be flawed in a vital way - Ben with his yearning and Rosanna with her devil-may-care attitude. They both seem so real, their relationship seems real. None of the happily-ever-after fairytale endings here, and I love that.

Your description is lovely too. I like the contrasting descriptions in the first paragraph especially. It's almost as if you have Ben saying what he thinks, the showing what everyone else thinks, especially with the hair comment. It's really interesting to read like that.

But yeah. Very impressed. Nice work!

I like the name Rosanna — in terms of Mibba stories, it's pretty uncommon. I love the first and last lines, the first one because it was the one that enticed me to read and the last one because it's so beautifully written.

I feel so sorry for Ben, and I was not expecting the sentence after the one about being a lost puppy to go the way it did. I don't know where this story is going to go but I'm definitely excited for it. I hope things turn out well for Ben. I'm also hoping to learn where it is the title originates.

wow. poor guy D: