Insanity - Comments

So I owed you this coomment since like six million ages ago and then I came here and realised it was about Afro and was like I neVER REALISED THIS BEFORE OMG

Either way, this made me smile. I only have read chapter one (wow, I'm reading a fan fiction) but I love your description of Jamie and his hair and how he seems like a really great sort of guy. I literally know nothing about him nor The X Factor but I really, really like this. I've been watching the updates and I hope they keep coming because I'm recommending and subbing this so hard~

ps sorry for generic comment, i'm bad at life
xo Apollo

I absolutely love the x factor and I think that you've captured everything perfectly! Your description is good and the flow was great! I have nothing bad to say to be honest! good job!

I've never watched the X-Factor, so I'm probably missing something. But I love how you capture the anticipation that she's sure to be feeling at that moment. I think I'd understand this more if I watched the show, but I still did enjoy the story!

I don't watch the X-Factor and I haven't heard of this person before so it's all so new and interesting to me! I feel that you really capture her feelings and the anticipation of the moment, especially during the auditions. It makes me feel so nervous for her because I know Simon always means business. I squealed when I read what she was singing and I now have to go listen to Take It Off. I was a little confused since I didn't know what was going on half the time through everything, but then again that's kinda my own fault since I don't watch the show.

I think this story has a lot of potential! Great job on it! :D

Good job! I loved how you really captured the tension and the excitement of the X-FACTOR contestants. You really made the judges sound like how they do in real life and the whole story itself was really realistic. You made me feel like I was there with Elise all the way through. This has a lot of depth and I can see that you put a lot of work and effort into this which is great. Keep up the good work. Also, one question, how did you change the colour of you writing? I've been trying to figure out how to do that...

From the "person-alike" thread.
I only read the first chapter, and it was brilliant. It's very fast-paced, and there's not a dull moment. The introduction of the characters was very simple and to-the-point, not letting their back stories or anything extra disturb the setting. I imagine that you'll explain more in later chapters. Your spelling and grammar is flawless (from what I could pick up) and the emotions that the character was feeling was well-portrayed.

I do agree with Kaaren Nafar on some points though. It is a bit cliche to have the romanctic interest in the thick of things from the very start. The introduction, sure, her sudden and full-on attraction was quite cliche. Another was how Elise was suddenly friends with Stacey. They had met not five minutes beforehand, and while the insight to the future of their relationship was understandable, to next call her "friend" was a bit hurried to me. Lyrics are also a thing that may be wanted to withheld. All in all, an enjoyable first chapter.

Sorry I can't stick around for more, but A) It's not really my kind of story and B) I have barely any time to read it with writing my own.

Perfect beginning. Some people begin the story with boring stuff. But what readers want nowadays is a story that begins with someone struggling for their life, or someone who’s running away from the police. That’s exactly what you have. Your character is under a lot of pressure because of the performance thing. And it was smart of you to start the story like that.
And it didn’t just end there. The perfect interplay between characters kept the fun going. This kept it real.
FUCK GODDAMN SHIT BOLLOCKS- (that was funny)
I'd love to read a story about this. X-factor, ha? Interesting. I'll be reading more. I'm not just saying. I WILL be. : )

I’m not saying some romance is irrelevant. But the cute guy coming into the scene from the beginning is just a cliché now. I think you should write a few pages more and then introduce him to keep the story less obvious.
And one other thing. Is it really necessary to quote so much of the lyrics they were singing? I think you could use the space for something else.
Errors:
He was wearing a slightly low-cut v-neck shirt… (v-neck=V-neck)