Purity - Comments

I only have to say one thing. This was so touching that made me cry. Good job!

I love basically everything about this. I really liked how the fallen angel, whom I thought was Death in the beginning, stayed with her throughout the whole short story, which was told in the span of a few months I believe. The ending was my favorite part of the piece. I just... oh my goodness.

It was just so beautiful how, before she passed away, she wished for him to be free. It was a selfless act and I just couldn't help but love that about the main character. I mean, she could have wished for anything that she wanted, but instead of thinking of herself, she thought of the lonely fallen angel. I couldn't help but feel very sad and happy at the same time while reading this. It was just so beautiful and I really loved reading it.

I love the layout! It's so pretty. I'm not sure it reflects the way the story is written but it still looks nice.

It confused me just a little, but I think after a second read, I'll get it more. And maybe reading the rest of the series.
I think it's a nice concept, but as the contest is over, I'd like to see it expanded!

Grammatically, I've only got one thing to point out that Lulie Belle hasn't already: "What's your wish Purity?" should have a comma after wish.

OVerall, I think this is a good start and I'd like to see what you can do.

I got so teary at the end. It was emotional, especially when she said her wish. I was anticipating her response, but did not see that coming.

Editing wise I'd change "All she does is sitting on her wheelchair by the window," to "All she does is sit in her wheelchair by the window." and "I might, I thought as I took in more of his appearance," to 'I might be, I thought..."; I would change "how his eyes made him seem" to "...how his eyes made him appear"; "I shall grand you..." should be "I shall grant you..."

I adored this... even though I had a few editing tips...I thought this was wonderful. I loved the build up to the end and there is beautiful imagery in this piece. As I read this I could almost see your fallen angel, and Purity is a wonderful character. She's stronger than most girls in her situation, and I like that because that is such a rare quality in characters.

This was absolutely amazing, your writing never ceases to amaze me and the way you can make the reader feel as though they are actually there in the story is awesome! Great job ♥

I really don't know what to say on this one. It made me think on multiple levels, and, and I am just a little emotional. You really do have a gift for writing, my friend.

I really don't know what to say on this one. It made me think on multiple levels, and, and I am just a little emotional. You really do have a gift for writing, my friend.

This story really is beautiful! When I was reading, it was easy to imagine myself as the girl, and I really felt the loneliness and detachment that she did in a sense. The mysterious angel was intriguing, and it's really kind that he stayed by her side right until she died. I didn't have many questions while I read this because I felt that the powerful emotions that this story portrayed answered them for me. It really is just a well-rounded, well-crafted story! And very moving. I have no bad points to tell you, because I couldn't pick up on any!!

That was beyond beautiful. It was something I needed today when I was feeling down. :)