Call of the Waves - Comments

@ smoke signals.
Thank you very much, this comment made my day as I have been having a TERRIBLE one. I'm glad you like my story, make sure to drop by and see what happens next!

I like this, you already managed to surprise me in the first chapter! I expected the narrator of the first chapter to be the male within the prologue rather than the baby! Already happy with the twist! You have a good plot line here, it will be interesting to see what happens with the brothers and their father, also whether we will find out the reason that the baby's mother vanished - what this 'spell' is as well. You've got a great talent for building up suspense and interest. Can't wait to read more, good job!

I have never been the hugest fan boy when it comes to Les Sirens and fiction, but, after reading the prologue alone I can tell that this is going to be scary biscuits.

The only other thing I can say is I (insert curse word here) hate you for thing of this first. And if I had more time I'd have read the entire thing, beginning to end. Or rather, beginning to thus-far-done.

one farther inspection, I agree with yukinoshita yukino. This would be 100 time better with more description. I think you should do some more research and read a few Alice Hoffman books so you can get the feel for magical realism.

I have never been the hugest fan boy when it comes to Les Sirens and fiction, but, after reading the prologue alone I can tell that this is going to be scary biscuits.

The only other thing I can say is I (insert curse word here) hate you for thing of this first. And if I had more time I'd have read the entire thing, beginning to end. Or rather, beginning to thus-far-done.

one farther inspection, I agree with yukinoshita yukino. This would be 100 time better with more description. I think you should do some more research and read a few Alice Hoffman books so you can get the feel for magical realism.

@ yukinoshita yukino;
You'll have to wait and see :) what made you guess?

Is this about mermaids? Because I hope it has mermaids. I don't often read stories about mermaids. :] I'm curious to learn more about Seth and the mysterious girl. Much more what she has to say to him and where that will take them afterwards. Your writing is fine, but I think it could be better with a little more description. Keep it up!

I think that there is a lot of potential here. The first thing I recommend is putting another space in between each paragraph in the prologue to make it easier on the eyes to read. The spacing in the first chapter is a little bit odd, a new paragraph practically every sentence.

"They were such a scintillating shade of blue, they almost looked as if she was wearing contacts. Framed by thick dark lashes, her brow creased with worry..." This is worded a bit funny, the second sentence is still talking about her eyes but the way it's written it's as if you are saying her brow is framed with lashes. I'm not sure I love the contacts part of the sentence, you start with an incredible description and then kind of throw it away. I would play with this for a while just trying to find a better way of saying that her eye color was practically unreal.

I really like the story and I think your idea is very original and interesting. The chapters could be a little longer but I can see this story going really well.