The New Girl - Comments

I think it's interesting how the story's in present tense. It's something different and you also have a main character who's realistic and despite it being a short chapter, you've still established her personality.

I like how she doesn't seem like the stereotypical popular girl and is actually someone who's more down to Earth. It's also interesting to see the little hints of her being confused about her sexuality. I can't wait to find out more about her and I also want to see how Memphis' personality is and how much she contrasts from Chelsea.

Looking forward to more and how these two girls will meet. You're doing good so far!

@ aubree james.
Well she had a dream with him in it. I guess I should have defined that one a little better.

@ Tholomew Plague
I'm glad you liked it.

So I love the layout. I feel like it really reflects the personality of one of the main characters, and I'm excited to see who.

The main character seems likeable, and highly realistic. From the summary I can tell that it's going to be a very interesting story that a lot of different people are going to be able to relate to and enjoy. However, there's two things that I want to say.

I'm slightly confused by the beginning and ending of the first chapter. She wakes up next to her boyfriend and then it seems like she's slightly jostled by him being parked in front of her house so soon? I think you should elaborate if he snuck around the house or something.

The second thing is that I feel like there's a lot of telling and not so much showing. I know it's the first chapter and you want to lay a foundation, but you don't always have to say everything right away.

Anyways, I do like the story. I feel like it's going to be very honest and a great read. :)

I like this, and I think you should continue. I enjoy the humour you have put into it, especially the "Because I was doing it, making it okay".

I am interested to see how this will all pan out, considering she seems confused, however she also kisses Anthony eagerly. I am also interested to see how he takes all of this, as Im sure it would be a shock. Wonder how he will take to having a lesbian around his girlfriend, and whether or not it will bother him, or if he's too self absorbed to worry about it. Keep at it. :D Subbing, and recing.

@ NeptunesSea
I'm glad you do.

I like it :)