You Found Me - Comments

Hello, this is a comment swap! :)

I read the first graphic novel or two of the series, and have only seen the first episode of the show but you descriptions of scenery and the way you capture the emotions of Sarah's struggle is perfect! :)

I feel like this story progresses and regresses, and that's something pretty unique- that your characters are capable of taking steps forward and steps back. It makes the characters more human and gives them life. I think that the whole situation, and later explosion concerning Sarah and Shane happened really quickly, and i know there was a fight but it ended rather quickly. Otherwise I think this is a pretty good story, considering I've never seen the walking dead and I was able to follow the storyline without the prior information and that was super nice. I think you're doing a great job with this story and that its really headed in a good direction.

@ A7xlover
Thank you !

Love it can't wait for updates

@ xX-Kobra-Kid-Xx
You should definitely watch the show, its fabulous! :D

Ah, comment swap- last time it gave me a Doctor Who fic, now it gives me a Walking Dead fic. I've never even seen the show, so I don't really understand the story, but at least I wasn't stuck with a fic littered with grammatical errors. XD

The beginning really caught my attention, which is good for any story, no matter what the fandom is. I really felt as though I was there. The detail is very good, not too overpowering, and doesn't overwhelm me with great, huge blocks of text, which is absolutely perfect. The first chapter really made me think that maybe I should get into Walking Dead.

The description of the scenery is also amazing. The way you described the hospital made the vision of blood splatters all over really made me think of this abandoned asylum-esque scene. I'll definitely keep reading through this and watch this show at some point.

@ scars on our hearts.
Thank you darling !!

comment swap! So it gave me a Walking Dead fan fiction? I have NEVER read one of those before. EVER. But I read the first two chapters and I found it interesting. It's a good story and the layout doesn't hurt my eyes which is a good thing, and that's a good thing! I have sensitive eyes!! And you did not go crazy and go off with the descriptions, like I usually do. Oh well >.< But anyway, I wish you can describe their emotions better. I like it when the author explains how the character really, truly feels, so yeah. I think you get the point. Every time I comment on something I try to be nice and not bash the story, because I don't want to make the author feel bad. I'm really sensitive and stuff. Haha. I didn't go over board with the bashing. Because I have gotten some comments like that before. Anyways, keep writing!

@ notoriety
Thank you !! :D

Some formatting comments: I would justify the text and not center it also darken it.. but I know these are personal preferences.

As for writing you have a natural flow and ease to your writing which is nice. Your descriptions are nice and you don't go too overboard which is a good balance to have as an author. I would like to see more of an inner voice coming from the first person character though instead of it sounding like a third person chapter. You have a good job of connecting some emotion, but don't be afraid to really show your character's emotions and describe things how they would. When writing in first person really try to tap into your character. Other than that, great job!

this story is really great, the first thing i noticed was that you actually paragraph *thank the lord* This makes it so much more interesting and easier to follow. You also use great descriptions which obviously improves it all. I really like how you fluctuate the story from the character thinking/talking about themselves then changing to what is currently happening outside of their head. Hope to see an update soon (:

This was weird for me a bit, because I’ve never seen TWD, but I really enjoy your writing style! Your descriptions, from the hospital in the first chapter on, are incredible. It’s so detailed, like I can see it right in front of me. I also like the occasional reflection to her (Sarah’s) past, like “That life was gone now.” Some people, when writing a dystopian style like this, forget completely that there was life before whatever occurred, but you do a great job of really developing your characters, especially with their pasts. The only thing I might change is that there’s hardly any reaction to all the death that occurs with the attacks, and that’s not really natural. Otherwise, this story is great, and I can’t wait for more!