One Door Closed Another Left Open - Comments

@ house of cards.
Thank you fir the compliments and critique. I'm happy that you enjoyed my story. :)

I'm here as a judge for the Magazine contest!

I like how, throughout this piece, you focus heavily on the emotions of the main character and what she is going through. I know that in a lot of stories that I've read dealing with depression, it's skimmed over in one chapter alone, but you've managed to continue it throughout the entire piece. You really get a sense of how desperate and horrible her life is so far, especially in the second chapter. You've used a few really good techniques to bring that across but my favourite has to be that repeated line in the third chapter. It's really effective and does draw you in further and further the more it is repeated.

The only thing that irked me was that you do switch tenses a few times when writing. It's easily fixable though, it's words like had and has being mixed up. A simple read-through should point those out though!

Overall, this was really good, albeit terribly melancholy. I actually like that you chose to have the door opening to the afterlife, in sorts, because it's very different to what I expected the entry to go down the route of and it's a really clever way to incorporate the contest brief. Great job!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

I like how you start this off! It gives it a nice, smooth intro and allows the reader to get used to the pace and also lets them get to know the character. The way you describe her eyes is perfection and I love how you added that bit about the "grey haze" as I think it really gives a good description. It made me feel like she was just out of it, you know? I think the way you describe her emotions and how they "bubble up" was good and very real, like it made me really connect with her on a whole new level which was really great! I think that this story gives people who are depressed and misunderstood a voice in my own opinion. It's very chilling, but carries an immense message. I loved it and think this deserves a rec. Great job on this story!