All in Good Jest - Comments

Title/Layout/Summary: The layout is okay, the background's a little distracting but it's not bad. The title is interesting and unique. The summary looks good. You could remove "and" so it just says "Life gets…". I can tell from the summary this story will be similar to "In The End" where the father takes after the son again.

Grammar/Spell Check/Improvements: It looks okay.

Opening: o.o Oh wow… that opening… He'd be sleeping outside for a month if that was me. -_- Oh my gosh, this son's even worse.

Ending: Ah, I don't know how Yumi does it. I would have gotten rid of them both. -_- Even if they were just playing around. That's so mean. v.v

Favorite Line: She vowed to have no more kids.

Other Thoughts: Well, this was unexpected. I surely was not expecting this kind of father-son relation… This was unique though, I've never read another book or story that has the husband talking about her wife's weight like that after having a kid.

:c Oh ouch, that first sentence. I would have slapped a guy fareal.

to hard smacks and they connected with the males heads.
I think that should be two.

All in good jest or not, they would find pranks all over the house waiting for them due to their mouth. I thought this was pretty cute and funny. I bet Yumi facepalms a lot... a lot, a lot.

That's when she goes and cooks a delicious dinner for one, but doesn't let them eat. >v>