May 25th, 2014 at 01:41am
Saw you comment on my story Nightmare and finally, after weeks of hard work done, I can sit down and read stories people recommend to me :)
I started writing the comment as I read over this story, just so I don't forget anything that I would love to say about the story :)
Here we go!
*clears throat*
Okay first off,
The beginning IMMEDIATELY got me into what was going on. The whole time I was like "THE HELL DID THEY DO??" with like my eyes glued to the screen.
I really like the details of the whole gore going on there in the beginning :) Once the word "sledgehammer" was mentioned, I knew what exactly happened to the guy's head haha.
Honestly, I kind of giggled when Norman explained how he just "snapped" so hard that his only way to shutting the guy up was bashing the guy with the sledgehammer. That's honestly very crazy and badass, but also funny.
Dark humor, in my perspective...
Once again, as I kept reading, I couldn't help but admire the unique way you explain with details. You have your own style and I like it :)
The description of the entire city honestly gave me chills (the good kind). I can imagine every detail within the city as if I was walking down it. It's such a fucked up environment but also a very interesting one (meaning that I know crazy shit will happen that will lead me more into the story ;) ).
For some reason, the first thing that comes to mind when I think about this city is the comic "Sin City" (check out the comic if you haven't read it, it's amazing).
Ariel seems like one bitch to not piss off. She's like true damn business, like shit. I was slightly scared of her lol
And Norman is actually very favorable in this story, I really like it :D
O___o
The whole eye scene was very very cringing. Like damn, you described EVERY detail of that scene instead of just plastering it to the reader like a neon sign. You made it so real in my mind that I actually had my stomach turning :S
But that's a very good thing! Well done!
Even the fight scenes were awesome!
Love the battle sequences :P
And THAT ENDING.
I'm like "OH SHITTT!"
Concluding everything...This was amazing! I want it continued! :)
There were grammar errors, yes, but that didn't stop me from reading it :3
you have a work of an imagination! *applause*
I hope you like this critique ^_^
@ RavenArtist93