August 19th, 2012 at 05:47am
I love when she challenges Caspian.
I really like knowing you're supporting the role of a strong female character that is thoroughly tough, and not just when presented with certain circumstances that force it to come from her. As well, the way you write her discourse with the other characters is done in a pretty witty and clever way. 
I think it balances out well and the tone is done so well that I can picture their voices in my mind. And it doesn't slow down the plot at all. It's going at a nice pace in which I have a lot of questions and they keep expanding into keen interest.I like, as well, the way that you're able to have importance in the current scenes, as well as in the underlying bigger importance. I'm both interested in what the small emotions of the characters are, as well as wondering about what's happening at the core of the plot.
You know what else is awesome? The suspense you put at the end of the chapters. Personally, I love that. It's like lace, how you are able to peek very slightly at what's coming next, but you are sensually intrigued by the mystery and knowing you'll soon figure it out.I think your story is cute and has a many good aspects. I'm excited to continue reading.
Okay, I'm a fanfiction fan. But mostly ones I read were Justin Bieber, or One Direction types. I never read a Narnia story before, this is my first. And so far, I love it. It's such a weeellll detailed and great story. I'm a huge Narnia fan. I'm not much of criticzer, or however you spell the word. I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errrors, I just loved the story. I loved it when she callenged Caspian. I really like the picture banner of the story, of course it fits it well. I really have no issues with this story. I just really like it and I can go on but I just be a blabber mouth. Keep up the good work(: